#sit and discuss each ep for two hours and take notes

[ylangelegy]

unknown / nth ⭐ minghao x reader.

your boyfriend gives you a language lesson before bed.

★ minghao x translator/interpreter!reader a.k.a the lost in translation couple ★ word count: 1.9k ★ genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, conversation about mandarin (my reference). takes place post-lost in translation! not entirely necessary to have read the fic prior to this. title is from hozier's song of the same name. not proofread. ★ footnotes: minghao did a brief weibo live and i've been missing lost in translation for quite some time now, so i jammed this out really quick 🚬🦆 may write more for/about this couple in the near future, so take this as the first of many! ♡

“I think Cold Love really represents me well. It’s probably because I’m an INFJ.”

You press your palm to your mouth to stifle your laugh. Minghao doesn’t react visibly, but his hand waves at you off-camera. A wordless reminder of Be nice. 

The two of you are across the room from each other— him, perched on the couch of his hotel room, while you’re already tucked in bed. Minghao had promised his fans a quick Weibo live to discuss his most recent EP, leaving you to your own devices for the next hour or so. 

You didn’t mind. It was one of life’s simple joys, listening to your boyfriend talk. 

He spends the next thirty minutes or so discussing his creative process and answering fans’ questions. You don’t bother him, knowing you’ll have all the time in the world later to tease him for some of his remarks. Like his indignance at growing taller or his jabs at his age. 

As you busy yourself with mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you relish in the familiar sound of Minghao’s Mandarin. It’s probably your favorite version of white noise, really. The mellow tone of his voice contrasts the rapid, sharp way that he speaks. Despite being well-acquainted with the language, there are still some words that elude you. You make a mental note to ask Minghao about them later. 

Less than an hour has passed before you hear Minghao beginning to wind down. “Good luck on all of your exams. To the people working, keep working hard! Make lots of money,” he says hurriedly. “And good luck with love, too. I hope you all find someone who loves you back so you can experience all sorts of feelings.” 

He’s never been the type to drag out his goodbyes, so you’re not surprised when— after a final heart sign and wave to the camera— Minghao is finally clocking out of his live. 

Immediately, he slumps back onto the couch like the whole thing had drained him. Sure, lives weren’t necessarily one-sided, but he did have to hard carry when it came to the talking part of the affair. You flash him a sympathetic smile as you sit up in bed. 

“Done, xīngān?” you call out. 

Minghao doesn’t respond right away. You don’t hold it against him. He sometimes needed a moment, needed a minute or two to pull himself together. 

After staring at the ceiling for what feels like forever, Minghao lets out a shuddering exhale. “Done,” he responds, and he’s moving before you can register it. 

He gets to his feet and crosses the room in a few, quick strides. Once he gets to the bed, he wastes no time in reaching for you. His knees sink in the mattress; his hands dart out. 

You let out a slight squeal when Minghao tugs you into him. 

“Sorry,” he says, not sounding very sorry at all. This had been a premeditated act. You can tell in the way his arms immediately snake around your waist. 

You let out a defeated sigh against his chest, but make no move to pull away. “Tired?” you ask, your hands resting on the small of his back as you return his embrace. 

He hums a quiet ‘mhm’. “I’m not built for this anymore, xīngān,” he whines. 

The two of you know that’s a bold-faced lie. Still, you indulge your sulking boyfriend lest he begin to pout even harder. “My poor baby,” you coo, running your hands up and down Minghao’s back in a show of comforting him. “Gonna blame it on being an introvert?” 

“Shut up.” 

You let out a small laugh. You can’t see it, but you swear you can feel the curve of Minghao’s smile as he presses a chaste kiss to the top of your head. 

“Thank you for being here,” he says after a moment of comfortable silence. “It means a lot.” 

A part of you wants to insist that it’s nothing. It’s not every day that you can steal away to his hotel room, though. In between your own work of interpreting for the boys and working on subtitles for videos, there’s also the added layer of keeping your relationship on the down low. 

Tonight, Minghao had just tried to asked. Texted a couple of hours ago that he wanted to see you. And you could never really deny him anything, not even on your best days. 

“Anything for you,” you respond as you stroke the short hair at his nape. 

Minghao buries his face in the crook of your neck, his smiling mouth warm as he mumbles against your skin. “Don’t give me that much power,” he warns. “I’ll abuse it.” 

You chuckle. “I don’t doubt that.” 

The two of you lapse into another bout of quiet. This had always been your way, even back when the two of you were friends: Comfortable silences, unspoken agreements. Your new relationship had only given you two the carte blanche to be a little more touchy during your shared moments of peace. 

You’re fairly sure that Minghao has fallen asleep when he speaks up again. “How do you think I did?”

“With the live?” 

“No, with cuddling. Yes, with the live.” 

“Ask nicely.”

“Please?” 

You put Minghao out of his misery by returning his earlier gesture— leaving a quick kiss, this time to the line of his jaw. “Stellar as usual,” you reassure him. “I didn’t pick up on everything, though.” 

“That’s new.” Minghao shifts around on the bed until he can prop himself up on one elbow. He rests his chin in his hand but doesn’t stray too far. He stays hovering over you, his free arm remaining around your waist. 

He goes on to goad, “Your Mandarin must be getting rusty.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, shooting him a half-hearted glare. “How can it be rusty,” you retort, slipping into the language as if to prove a point. “When you’re always insisting that we use it?” 

No matter how many times that you speak to him in his mother tongue, Minghao always seems momentarily startled. The surprise always fades into affection, evident in the fond way that he gazes down at you. 

He matches your code switch without missing a beat. “I’ve told you, haven’t I? I love it when you speak Mandarin,” he says, punctuating his words with a quick pinch to your side. 

You swat his hand; he giggles down at you.

“Which parts did you miss out on?” he asks. 

It takes you a moment to recall the terms and phrases you’d wanted to question him about. “撒娇?” you ask, the unfamiliar word sounding almost hesitant on your tongue. Sājiāo.

A thoughtful ‘ahhh’ escapes Minghao. “Think of it like aegyo,” he offers delicately. “It’s— often in the setting of a relationship. Acting cute to be endearing.” 

“Like when you gripe about me not responding fast enough.” 

“Examples aren’t necessary,” he says wryly. “But, yes. Like that.” 

You flash Minghao a grin before snuggling a little closer to him, entangling your legs. The added touch makes his expression softens in the way it only ever does when it’s you. 

“Anything else?” he prompts. 

It’s not everyday that Minghao gets to play the ‘teacher’ role in your relationship. In the beginning, you had been his Korean tutor. In the longer run, you had helped him translate and transpose words that he couldn’t reach. Every so often, you would run to him for some Mandarin help, and you could tell that he relished in the shift in dynamic. 

The thought pushes you to keep asking, even though the words are inconsequential. “You used the term 暖男,” you note. “What was that one?” 

“Nuǎnnán,” he echoes, correcting your intonation. You repeat the word as he said it, and he gives a small smile of approval.

“It’s our version of ‘nice guy’,” he explains. “But it’s rooted a lot in culture. A nuǎnnán is a man who can be considered inherently warm-hearted in an otherwise patriarchal society. And no—” Minghao’s tone takes on a more chiding quality when he sees you about to interrupt. “Do not try to call me a nuǎnnán.” 

You jut out your lower lip slightly. “Why not?” 

The arm that Minghao had around your waist rises, just enough so he can tap the tip of your scrunched nose. “Don’t pull out sājiāo on me,” he scolds. 

It’s not necessary for you to act cute. Your boyfriend would be endeared by you either way. 

You chuckle at being caught, and Minghao’s sternness mellows. “One last.” You hold up a finger as you try to nail the phrase that had first caught your attention. “裸婚?” 

There’s a flicker of surprise on Minghao’s expression. “That was from a fan making a joke,” he warns before repeating the word himself. “Luǒhūn translates to— hear me out, okay?— ‘naked marriage’.” 

The sight of your raised eyebrow draws a sharp laugh from Minghao. “It’s another one of those cultural things,” he says. 

When he doesn’t add onto his words, you shoot him an incredulous look. 

“What?” he asks with feigned innocence.

“That’s it?” you prod. “You’re not going to explain what ‘naked marriage’ means?” 

“You have access to the internet, don’t you?” 

“Xīngān.” 

“That’s me.” 

At Minghao’s continued evasion, you merely huff and give up. It’s getting late, anyway, and he has to be up early in the morning for sound check. Come tomorrow, you’ll have to slip away before anyone can come looking for either of you. The boys aren’t privy to your relationship yet, and God forbid any of the other staff find out.

“Fine,” you say, unable to resist the urge to just be a little haughty. “Let’s go to sleep.” 

Minghao is undeterred by your contempt. If anything, it only makes him smile a little wider, gives him an excuse to pull you into his chest. He goes to cradle the back of your head, his fingers playing with the strands of your hair. 

You lean into his touch, burying your face into the front of his shirt. There it is again. Those few, precious moments where the two of you can just bask in each other’s presence. 

The silence stretches on this time. You’re properly drowsy by the time Minghao speaks up, his words quiet as he mumbles them against your shoulder. 

“No house, no car, no fancy ring,” he murmurs, his tone contemplative and sleepy. “Luǒhūn.” 

“A naked marriage,” you respond mid-yawn. 

“Mhm.”

“Nothing but love.” 

“You got it.” 

The conversation feels like it’s teetering on the verge of something consequential, something of value. But with the two of you already halfway asleep in each other's arms, there’s not much you can do besides exchange some light pecks and mumbled words.

“I think I’d want at least a house before getting married,” you say. “Or, like, an apartment.”

“What, you wouldn’t live out on the streets with me?” he teases lowly. 

Your eyes flutter close. “You would have to convince me,” you shoot back. 

Minghao responds with a lingering kiss to your forehead. 

“How long will it take to convince you?” 

It’s a little too early in your relationship for the topic of marriage to be seriously brought up. It’s fun to dream about, though. To talk about in hushed tones, to toy with in Minghao’s mother tongue. 

To imagine a time where this might be your every night— falling asleep in each other’s arms. 

“Might take you years and years,” you answer, a giggle rising from the back of your throat. 

Minghao’s arms shake as he laughs. His lips stay on your head, almost like he can’t bear to peel away from you for a minute too long. 

“I don’t mind,” he says as the two of you begin to succumb to sleep. 

The last thing you hear is his affectionate, soft promise of, “I’ll start working on convincing you, xīngān.” 

[thekisforkeats]

So between you talking about it and my convincing a friend to listen to it, I've decided to do a tma relisten (I've only heard it all the way through twice and first time round I missed alot of important details) and just. Wow. So many namedrops super early on I completely missed. Gerard in particular appears waaay earlier and more frequently than I remember

Yeah! It's wild how much of the very very early episodes wind up being set-up for later.

The first time I listened my spouse (who is HORRIBLE at not spoiling things) was not like "oh yeah this shows up again" until Ex Altioria in MAG 004, and was pretty blase about everything else early-on except Prentiss. (Can you tell my spouse is the one who identifies with Jon lol)

But now we're doing a whole red string brigade re-listen in which we are, uhh, taking notes and keeping track of pretty much everything that recurs, because we're nerds. And I am like "you do realize I am making a 'this shows up again a bunch' page for almost everything in every episode except the statement givers."

Like, the Angler Fish and at least two of its victims recur. Breekon & Hope and the coffin recur. The table and the NotThem. Ex Altiora, Mike Crew, the Keays, Leitner. MAG 005 doesn't explicitly mention anything but the guy in it is supposed to be an early version of Tom Haan. And then Prentiss shows up in "Squirm."

I dug through the episodes and I think the first one where none of it shows up again is MAG 007, which is historical--but DOES establish the trend of using real historical people and has a weird oblique reference to Rayner. But then you get Hill Top Road immediately after, the Julia Montauk/Trevor Herbert double feature introductions, Oliver Banks (as Antonio Blake), Gerry again alongside Diego Molina, Naomi Herne and thus the Lukases, and then the first mention (I think) of Mikaele Salesa.

As far as I can tell, the first episode where NOTHING recurs or is ever mentioned again even obliquely is MAG 015, Lost Johns' Cave.

And then you have Carlos Vittery, and then we get our first fellow recurring VA showing up, when Elias comes to gripe at Jon on Naomi's behalf.

It's funny because it's like, first time through you're going "oh this will never show up again" and I think that is largely because Jon himself is dismissing everything. So that's why Ex Altiora and Jane Prentiss stand out--Jon takes them seriously in the moment.

But then other stuff starts showing up again and you're like "wait what??" And so down the rabbit hole you go...

[collecting-stories]

The Festival  - ep. 06 - Georgia

Summary: The Festival of Lights is happening in King County and Daryl makes a surprise stop at your booth. 

A/N: They’re too cute. 

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“I saw Tiny at the gazebo today with Axel; hanging lights.” You mentioned, sitting in the carport while Daryl worked on the Jeep. He’d spent the other day, after dropping you off at the diner, putting up temporary plastic walls to seal out the cold in the carport. You couldn’t help being grateful as you sat in front of the space heater.  

“Deanna asked Dale if we’d put in some overtime decoratin’ for that damn festival they’re putting on.” Daryl replied. He wasn’t thrilled to be stuck doing menial crap around the town center like stringing lights and hanging stupid snowflake decorations for something that was, in his mind, unnecessary.  

“Are you going?” You asked. You’d spent two hours on the phone yesterday after church discussing outfit options with Maggie, whose initial grounding was being slowly lifted. Phone calls had been reinstated, at least to you.

“Are ya joking?” Daryl looked like he was sure you were joking.

“No. I’m going. It’s a lot of fun.”

“It ain’t that fun. Think yer just remembering it better than it is.”

“I am not. There’s hot chocolate and they get that band to play-”

“A bunch a old men in stupid get-ups ain’t a band.” He replied.  

“So sour.” You teased, laughing at him when he glared at you. “Well, if you do go, I’ll be there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You bit your lip to stop from smiling as he went back to working on the car. 

He hadn’t flat out rejected the idea of going there and seeing you. He had been in to the diner a few times with Axel or T-Dog but outside of the carport you usually couldn’t get him to acknowledge your existence. You knew that your mom would have a heart attack if she found out that you were entertaining any thoughts of him at all so talking to each other and seeing each other had to be done carefully, but you couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach at the thought of him showing up at the Lights Festival to see you.  

“I’m thinking yer car’ll be fixed by the new year.” Daryl mentioned.  

Oh. “Oh.” You stopped taking notes, looking up at him again, “okay.”

“Course ya still owe me the third payment.”  

“I told you, Friday!” When you caught sight of his smile you laughed, “Friday.”

“Ya said that last Friday.”

“I did not! So mean to me.”

“I’m mean ta ya? I been chaperoning ya around town at least once a week. Working on yer car...entertaining ya. Lost countless clothes ta ya.” He replied, listing off things that he’d done for you.

“Oh my god, one jacket which you said I could keep. You said the sweatpants and shirt didn’t fit anymore.” You pointed out.

“Didn’t mean ya could keep it forever.”

“I will bring it back to you.”  

He looked over, grinning, “nah.”  

You smiled, “come to the festival on Saturday and I’ll give you the third payment.”

“Thought ya said Friday?”

“Yeah but if you come on Saturday you can see me at the festival, I’m helping with the church booth. Annette asked me.”

“Tempting.”

-

Friday was a half-day, most of the kids having been roped into helping to finish setting up for the Lights Festival. You and Tara had used the opportunity to walk to 7-11 before your shift at the diner. Both of you were sitting on the handicap ramp, eating convenience store hot dogs and a shared bag of family size Doritos.  

“How late do you work tonight?” Tara asked. She had been trying to coordinate everyone getting together for a few weeks now but with most of you working it was hard to find the time. “Glenn said he’s got off and so does Rosita. I think Eugene only works until like nine.”

“I get off at ten.” You replied, “I can-” you cut yourself off when you noticed the truck that was pulling up to a gas pump. You scooted over so that you were partially blocked by Tara and watched Daryl get out of the truck.

“What are you doing?”  

“Nothing.”

Tara looked over and saw the truck, smiling, “oh my god. Maggie wasn’t lying, you are obsessed.” She laughed.  

“I’m not. We’re just like...I don’t know. He’s cool and I like hanging out with him.”  

“And you think he’s hot.”

“What, is that a crime?”  

Tara just shook her head as she continued to eat, “so go say hi.”

“What? No way. I don’t wanna bother him.”

“Hey! Dixon!” Tara shouted, waving her hand for him to come over.  

Daryl frowned, not recognizing the girl that was waving at him. As he got closer, he saw you sitting there across from her. You gave him a wave and smiled, “sorry.”

“Ya ain’t cause yer smiling.”  

“So how’s it going?” Tara asked, grinning as she looked between the two of you.  

“Fine.”

Tara balled up her hotdog foil and grabbed her empty soda, “I’m gonna throw this away, I’ll be right back.” She stood up and walked over to the trash can at the other end of the store, taking her time to leave the two of you alone for a little while.  

“Have you changed your mind about the festival?” You asked, standing up and leaning against the railing. Daryl stood on the other side, hands gripping the railing on either side of yours.  

“I told ya no.” He replied, grinning and biting at his thumb.  

“Okay-”

“I’ll be around Saturday afternoon though, work on the Jeep if ya wanna stop by.”

“I’ll try, I’ve gotta be at the sign up table early.” You said, smiling.  

-

Despite swearing that he would not be at the festival on Saturday night Daryl found himself there anyway. You were exactly where you said you’d be, sitting at the booth for the church with Maggie Greene, bundled in his jacket with a hat and a scarf to keep you warm. People milled around the area, stopping at tables and getting food. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing here; admitting that he was here to see you was a little more than he was capable of handling at the moment.  

He was here now though.  

“Here, keep ya warm.”  

You jumped at the sound of someone beside you, turning to see Daryl standing there with a paper coffee cup. You smiled, tucking your chin into your scarf. “Thank you,” you took the cup, taking a sip of the hot chocolate that he’d bought three tables over.  

“That looks good,” Maggie announced, “think I’m gonna grab myself a cup.” She got up, moving around the table. When she was passed Daryl she looked back at you, winking.  

“I thought you said you didn’t do stupid town festivals?” You asked.  

“Changed my mind.” He shrugged, looking around at the people walking around. “Actually got something done on yer car today, since ya weren’t there talking my ear off.”  

“I do not talk your ear off.” You laughed, “I bet you missed me.”

He shook his head but you saw him smiling. “How’s Maggie doing? With her boyfriend-”

“Glenn?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. He didn’t necessarily care about Maggie or her boyfriend but he’d heard you mention it enough times to know that you cared.  

“He’s here somewhere, they’re supposed to be meeting up. She didn’t tell me anything so I can have plausible deniability if anyone asks.” You replied.

“Plenty a times I could’ve used that.” He commented.  

You laughed and took a sip of your hot chocolate, appreciative of the feeling of warmth that spread through you. It was cold out, even for Georgia, too cold for a town gathering but the winter fest was a big deal in King County. This was the first year Daryl could remember going.  

“Jacket looks familiar.” He chewed at his lower lip as he watched you, admiring the way you looked with his jacket on.  

“I know I said I’d return it but it’s warm.” You replied, pulling it tighter around you. “Still smells a little like cigarettes though,” you scrunched your nose up and he rolled his eyes.

“Can’t imagine why.” He said, fishing a cigarette out of the pack that was in his pocket and lighting it. “I ain’t gonna get struck down for smoking at the church table am I?”

“No.” You replied, “if you make a donation to the church?” You grabbed the empty coffee tin that was sitting there for donations and shook it. Daryl scoffed but he pulled two dollars out of his pocket and dropped them in. “Thank you, now we can go save a bunch of perfectly happy people in Mexico from eternal damnation and ruin their lives.” You grinned and Daryl shook his head at you again.  

“Yer something else.”

“Something good?”

“I shouldn’t hang around too long.” He replied, looking back around as if people might realize that he’s there, ‘corrupting’ a sweet church girl like yourself.  

“Wish you would.” You replied, feeling bold as his cheeks tinted redder than before. You smiled, watching him run a hand through his hair.  

“I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Daryl said, smoke seeping out as he spoke. Your eyes widened just slightly as you watched the smoke dance in the air.  

“Okay.”  

He nodded as if in confirmation, taking a step away from the table before turning around and heading back through the crowd. You leaned back in your chair, pulling his jacket closer and smiling as you watched his retreating back.

-

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[bookdork1]

okay, i’ll admit upfront that this episode was slow in the ship department. it happens. they have 2+ hours of content to write every week, which means sometimes that content can’t focus on just the same two people and their one storyline of accidentally falling in love with one another. that being said, it was still a very good episode for edser, even if they didn’t have a ton of screen time together. yes, they are both angry at each other (highlighted best when they talk to one another’s respective mother figures and defend their own side in the couple’s fight). but they are also both missing and pining after one another. they spend the majority of the episodes finding ways to accidentally run into one another and the other half finding ways to avoid one another. its frustratingly fun to watch, but definitely something that has a short shelf life. lucky for us, the writer knows this, meaning that we end the episode with the main conflict being resolved: eda finds out who stole the patent and goes to serkan to prove her innocence. serkan, very belatedly, tells eda he doesn’t need proof, he believes her. he admits he has serious trust issues but that he knows she was innocent of his charges regardless of proof. unfortunately for serkan, he forgets the most important words “i am sorry” and “i apologize for how i treated you.” since no apology was truly made, eda doesn’t accept it. instead, she hands back the ring and tells him they are finished. its a wonderfully angst filled cliffhanger. do i wish we had gotten to that point 45 minutes earlier? yes. but its an excellent setup for episode 9 in which i envision a serkan who grovels. a lot. 

additionally, since edser had such little actual forward progresssion until the last five minutes, all the side characters recevied amazing treatment this ep. usually i don’t care about the side characters in turkish dramas. often they are overwhelmingly flat and are only used as plot devices to keep the main couple apart. in SCK though we have a plethora of interesting side characters and friendship groups who i can’t help but like. 

i’ll start with seyfi, who served some stinging one liners this episode. i loved how he immediately sided with eda, refused to pack her things when serkan asked him to, and even went to eda’s house to check in with her that she was okay. overall, seyfi is amazing and we love seyfi. example a: ”seyfi, have you seen eda around?” “no, but i’ll tell you what i do see. a lonely man” yes keep on serving those truth bombs seyfi!

i also really liked the small progression with aydin and alptekin. alptekin dropping everythign at work and returning home proved that he does care about his wife and aydin is slowly working up to telling him about her progress with her agoraphobia. both characters were also excellent in their response to their son’s behavior towards eda. aydin firmly chastised her son, scolding him for yelling at not only his fiance but any woman and alptekin came in later telling his son that having no trust in otheres is a mistake. three cheers for the good parenting (even if its of their adult son). 

the piril/engin/jeren love triangle of sorts is also heating up. i think i’m piril/engin at the moment but i honestly don’t know which direction the drama will take with these two ships. i will say that i am firmly in love with the idea of jeren/engin just being best bros who give relationship advice to each other, it would be nice to see that kind of male/female friendship represented in a drama. also piril is ridiculously repressed with her feelings and therefore i strongly relate to her so that may be why i’m rooting for her. 

it was also interesting to see more about ferit and his relationship with selin. i really feel so bad for this guy. he loves his fiance a lot and has already put a lot of trust in their relationship watching her work, day in and day out, with her ex-boyfriend, a guy whom ferit knows she still has feelings for. it was so sad when he found that note “from serkan” in selin’s desk. i did not approve of his decision to follow her but the drama surprised me again. instead of having ferit go psycho with jealousy he and eda quietly listened to their respective fiances discuss their old relationship. things obviously went better for eda in that discussion (serkan’s “there is no logic to my being with eda” is 10000% better than selin saying logic is what keeps her with ferit) and i really felt so bad when he told eda that he always knew selin wasn’t with him because of love, but because of logic. i just really want selin to stop pining over what she never had with serkan and realize that a great love is sitting right there in front of her. 

and of course we must mention melo. ohh i was so worried about her reaction to finding kaan’s nefarious purposes but she handled it really well. i love that the drama didn’t waste uselss time with her not telling eda the truth for some stupid reason. instead as soon as melo realizes what happens, she tells eda and they piece together how kaan got his hands on the patent in the first place. the way all the girls immediately rallied around melo was heartwarming, to say the least. i love this friend group of four distinctly different but distinctly strong women. fifi’s decision to then chloroform kaan and get the truth out of his phone was kind of amazing, not gonna lie. also, i want to add a shout out to eda’s aunt. her immediately knowing that kaan was untrustworthy was epic. 

oh! one more side character to mention! sirius was honestly the mvp of this episode. his acting on the stairs when serkan was walking away but eda was just arriving? oscar worthy. that dog is tired of his parents fighitng and would just like everyone to make up with one another, please and thank you.

well, that was an essay, please let me know if you have any thoughts about the episode you want to discuss! while the episode wasn’t my favorite, i did enjoy it and i think it promises a great set up for episode 9. 

[cxhnow]

Chloe x Halle Talk Police Brutality and Postponing Their Album

“The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women.”

Four days before the release of their sophomore album, Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle addressed their fans to let them know they’re postponing it. In a video posted across their social channels, sisters Chloe, 21, and Halle Bailey, 20, sat shoulder to shoulder at their home in Los Angeles, surrounded by hovering green trees, and tried to sum up their range of emotions after witnessing a global uprising against police brutality.“In honor of all of the lives lost in police brutality, we felt like it was right to postpone, and fully shine our attention and our work on them,” Chloe said, with both a shake and clarity in her voice, in the video to the duo's 2.7 million followers. Halle added, “Music has been used for a long time to bring us joy and healing in difficult times like this.” Just weeks before, George Perry Floyd, a Black man living in Minneapolis, died in police custody while a white officer’s knee was pressed on his neck. As video of his killing spread, and after the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor, protests sparked around the world demanding accountability and allyship with the Black Lives Matter movement. On the day Chloe, Halle, and I spoke by phone, Tony McDade, a Black trans man in Tallahassee, Florida, was fatally shot by an officer. In Los Angeles, where the sisters live, protesters strung their bodies together to temporarily shut down the 101 freeway. In Atlanta, where they were born, six police officers were charged after being accused of using excessive force on two Black college students who were tased and pulled out of their cars days earlier.During a time when fans are more critical of how celebrities engage in civil rights activism, Grammy-nominated musicians and actors Chloe and Halle Bailey don’t tiptoe. They urge fans to sign petitions, donate, vote, and recognize Black life, early and often. They celebrate Black joy year-round. This is what their followers have grown to expect from them. Chloe and Halle have always had something to say, and it just so happens to be an important time to speak up.

It’s hard to wrap your head around the unbreakable confidence it takes to be a female pop artist if you aren’t one. Thankfully, Chloe and Halle have each other. For decades, the bond among members of Black singing girl groups has given audiences soulful and fun music. In the '90s, groups like SWV, En Vogue, and Zhané made upbeat R&B music that made you want to dance with your homegirls. Now, contemporary duos like KING, Van Jess, and Ibeyi stand out for their rapturous vocals enveloped in dramatic production. Chloe x Halle add to this legacy by singing, writing, and producing ethereal music that resonates with the girl next door.Yet there are distinct differences in the duo’s vocal style; they don’t try to match each other’s voices to create some sort of uniformity. Rather, they play off of rhythm and song pacing to meld their voices. When they do sing choruses and bridges together, their voices, albeit distinct, create layered, otherworldly melodies.The duo’s sound is often described as angelic, giving leeway for some to describe them as two women without sin. Chloe and Halle want to shatter this idea because it’s not realistic. “For Ungodly Hour we were so excited to just flip the narrative of being the perfect angel and show the other side[s] of us.…," says Halle. "The dark side, the naughty side, the things that happen that you don't see behind the scenes.” 

The majority of the 13 songs on the album are about navigating messy situations — sometimes ones that you have caused. In the midst of trying to be a better friend or romantic partner, you know that you’ll always be imperfect, and decide to love yourself anyway.“I've always been a jazz head," Halle says. “I don't know why, but there's something about the pain and the love and the heartbreak that you can truly feel through the essence of those songs that are sung by Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald.” As of late, Chloe’s “really, really been inspired by '90s music and early 2000s production,” a vibe you can hear and see in “Do It,” the second single off of Ungodly Hour.“We wanted to show our sensual side because we are growing as young women, but we still kept it classy and cute,” Chloe says. “It was just really fun for us to do that. We also wanted to start dancing this era, and just something really simple. And it makes us so happy to see everyone doing that dance on TikTok.”Chloe expands on how the name of the album and title track came about after working with the U.K. duo Disclosure: “We wrote this song [the title track “Ungodly Hour”] with Disclosure, and we had the best time,” she recalls. “I forgot what I was watching, but I heard the phrase ‘ungodly hour’ and wrote it in my notes. [It] kind of stuck out to all of us, and we were like, ‘What can you say with this?’ We all came up with this sentence: ‘Love me at the ungodly hour,’ which means love me when I'm at my worst; love me when I'm not all dolled up and made up. Love me when all my insecurities are out on the table.”’

“We started writing about when you're in a situationship with a guy and the chemistry is there, and you know the love is there and your connection is so deep, but he's not going all in," she continues. "For some reason he doesn't want to commit. He's entertaining other options, and it's just saying, ‘You know what? I love myself enough to walk away and put the brakes on this and to pause this. So when you decide you like yourself, when you decide you need someone, when you don't have to think about it — love me at the ungodly hour.’”Other emotionally complex tracks on the album include “Forgive Me,” a haunting song inspired by Chloe’s own life, after she discovered a guy she was involved with was going back and forth between her and another young woman. “I Wonder What She Thinks of Me” is a song that tells the story of the new love, the one a man gets with after he’s broken up with his ex.The vocalists are eager to make music that grows with them and becomes more layered as they do. “The way our music has evolved is exactly how we're evolving as young women,” Chloe says. The chromelike wings they turn around and show on their album cover, worn with black, latex dresses, are symbolic of their strength and power.When I ask what they hope for in the future, the Bailey sisters seem at ease. Chloe would love to work with BTS: “They're performing — it's top-notch. I'll sit at my computer and watch all of their music videos and all of their performances.”“Awards would be nice," she adds. "Being at the top of these Hot 100 lists would be beautiful and amazing, but as long as I'm growing and I'm a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today, I am content.”

The duo is used to releasing music during times of political duress. Two years ago, when Chloe x Halle were part of our music issue for the release of their debut album The Kids Are Alright, the world was grappling with an immigration travel ban enacted by President Donald Trump, the #MeToo movement, and pressing climate change legislation. That album was an intonation from the sisters to young activists approaching human rights issues head-on: “Do it while you young. Don't let them turn you numb. Don't let them get you strung. Ooh, let me put you on,” they sing on their first album's title song.“I was 15 through 17, and Chloe was 17 through 19 during the making of the album,” Halle says of their debut project. “We were still very young. We were still trying to figure out what we wanted, and I think that showed in the music.”As artists, the singers say their first album was about proving they could play an active, hands-on role in the production of their own music in an industry dominated by men. As two teenage women, it was about showing the world that, although they didn't have all the answers and weren’t sure what was lurking around every corner, they had the guts to find out. At that point in their careers they had been signed to Beyoncé’s Parkwood for five years and had released one other project, the Sugar Symphony EP, in 2016. But aside from opening tour performances and high-profile appearances, they hadn't become household names.

Now, amid a health pandemic and a country in unrest because of its history of white supremacy, Chloe and Halle are navigating being famous and also having a distinct voice. While finding ways to take care of themselves, the sisters are also promoting an album from their home, in the rooms where they first honed their craft as writers, instrumentalists, and producers. “We've kind of gotten back to our roots and started doing what originally got us started," Halle says, "which is doing YouTube covers, interacting on social media, and connecting with our beautiful fans through there.” A lot has changed in their personal lives as well. They're private about the details, but say they’re learning more about guys and finding themselves in relationships and situationships. They’re experiencing more love, heartbreak, and the misguided antics of boys. "We have to take our power back as women and not allow ourselves to be played,” Chloe riffs.In January, the third season of their Freeform show, grown-ish, dropped. In the college-centered comedy, led by Yara Shahidi, Chloe plays Jazz and Halle plays Sky, ambitious twin sisters who attend the fictional state school Cal U. Jazz is balancing being in love with her boyfriend Doug (played by Diggy Simmons) and schoolwork; Sky is focused on being a track star while navigating her interracial relationship. Like the sisters in real life, their characters are witty, impeccably stylish, and proud of their Blackness. But unlike Chloe and Halle, they’re far more overt about their love lives — often kissing in hallways and openly discussing their sex lives — and unfiltered opinions.Before stay-at-home orders went into place, Chloe and Halle had been expanding farther into Hollywood, and pursuing separate film projects.In July 2019, it was announced that Halle is set to play Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid. Many saw Halle’s breakout feature-film role as a huge win for inclusion, but, like clockwork, people on social media found an issue with the revamped iteration of Ariel being played by a Black woman. Halle spoke out on the discourse, telling Variety at the time, “I feel like I’m dreaming, and I’m just grateful. I don’t pay attention to the negativity. I just feel like this role is something bigger than me. It’s going to be beautiful.”

Halle remains grateful, but says of the negative criticism, “We've always learned to just keep our heads up no matter the situation. No matter what anybody has to say about you...just keep pushing.”

Like Halle, Chloe is also expanding her acting chops in feature projects. In December, Chloe wrapped filming for her role in the horror film The Georgetown Project, starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Simpkins. “I'm really protective of my energy, I'm very spiritual, and I love God,” she says about the thriller. “So I was constantly praying when I was on set. But surprisingly, the energy on set was so positive. And I learned so much by being around all of these Oscar-winning actors.”

Humility is a running trait between the sisters. They don’t hide their confidence, but are also God-fearing and incredibly gracious. They’re media-trained and polite, but also find a way to be frank. They say this album is a “whole different world” for them as they reveal more of their personalities, while exploring what it means to be grown women.

“We are learning to embrace who we truly are,” Chloe says about their music evolution. “Our insecurities, our sexuality, owning our power. I'm grateful that we are given a space where we can do that comfortably. And I'm grateful for our parents, because they instilled in us that we need to be strong and independent young women.”

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live updates from C2E64

They say that fire exposes a person’s priorities, but we here at the lab believe that a gaggle of overly friendly moaning demons can also do the trick. Thank you to @softazelma, @fyeahthominho, and @alarnia for helping with data entry! Masterpost here.

+500 to The Mighty Nein/Totally Not Anachronisms. Beau invented the phrase “Don’t shoot the messenger,” and also ravioli, with her hidden chef talent. Caleb, having wheeled and dealed with the rich assholes of the Empire, naturally invented the game of golf during his year at the Academy. And Moro watched only half of the first season of Stranger Things. Don’t spoil her, okay?

+150 to Caleb/Astrid/Eodwulf “FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, JESTER, I’ll have you know that Eodwulf who I have never mentioned to you and who was not mentioned in the letter was buff and muscular and strong and so talented whoops that’s not even a physical description anymore but did I mention he was impressive? So if Marion Lavorre meets a black haired blue eyed incredibly eligible and attractive and gifted heartthrob of a man that’s the one you’re looking for BEWARE.” Okay, Caleb. Gone are the days of being content with all the love being directed at Astrid, I see. All right.

+0 to Jester/Beau Well, if an indirect kiss involves drinking from the same water glass, is it an indirect flirt if you both flirt with the same person? Moro became the unlikely receptacle of both these gal’s affections this episode, between Beau’s loud and enthusiastic appreciation of Moro’s criminal hustle, and Jester making sure Moro knows that Jester thinks she’s cute (and that she’ll kill her for lying to them). Beau as usual hyping up Jester’s awesomeness to everyone (in this case Caduceus) who will listen. Shockingly, this episode Beau seems to have acquired the ability to actually fool Jester into thinking she’s fine, which resulted in point loss and meant Caleb instead had to pick up the slack to gracefully get some help for the poor beat up monk. (For him, that’s +6 to Caleb/Faking Injury for Friendship)

-30 to Fjord/Shortcuts Just as when Captain of the Ball-Eater, Fjord is ALL ABOUT running into clear danger if it means shaving one or two days off of a trip. Into the eye of the storm! Into Ground Zero of the Calamity! We care for speed here, not safety!

+18 to Caleb/Jester and speaking of Caleb having a Thing for strong people, how he continues to single out Jester as the Strongest Woman, who even is Yasha, which creates a perfect combination of #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress and #LovesToBeAKnightInShiningArmor between the two of them, as Caleb begs for assistance getting a horse on his moorbounder of COURSE Jester can do this alone, Jester squashing Caleb adorably and staying there for….a length of time while at Moro’s (I guess Caleb is the type to have people sit on his face huh), and Caleb very effectively pulling his “Oh no, I am so weak and delicate I must have a fainting couch to rest upon for a spell” to Jester’s delighted crowing over how weak he is. Caleb as usual thinking Jester’s out-of-the-box thinking with an aerial view is The Best Thing Ever. Jester wanting to get in on the Healing Caleb Action Caduceus has been hogging with a Cure Wounds, what do you mean Fjord is injured too? (#ItReallyDoesPayToBeADamselInDistress). Caleb’s Worrywarting directed at full strength at Marion Lavorre. +4 to Yasha/Cockblocking for Jester bringing Yasha in on the horse moving action. Point loss for Caleb’s Worrywarting creating Jester Worrying and making her lose sleep. Nein! Not okay!

+17 to Beau/Yasha because as we all know mutilating corpses with Beau is a sure way to her big gooey heart. Also, Beau adopting a Striking Pose after striking the enemy dead, and the Gay Power of that alone probably making Yasha’s rage drop, as she struggles to pick her jaw up off the floor and reorient towards combat.

-10 to The Mighty Nein/The Neighbors as they apparently carry a couplea severed heads in plain view all across town on their way to the Xhorhaus before storing them. According to the local Mighty Nein Neighborhood Watch, this is only the third or fourth weirdest thing they’ve done.

+24 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caduceus continues as always to think Caleb is the solution to all problems always with his cool magic and his alarms, though +5 to Cockblocking for both Jester and Beau who tragically remind him that there are other people out there who can also do things. The slip into nearly calling Caleb “Mr. Clay” instead of “Mr. Caleb” is of note, and someone needs to investigate what he’s been writing in those hearts in his journal pronto. Caduceus making Caleb his #1 priority in battle, #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress, with his ray of enfeeblement, healing, attacks, and physically standing over the wizard in a defensive stance to protect him! Batting away attacking bats (while Caleb crawls around collecting guano!). Points taken away because poor Caduceus forgets for a moment that the next brightest thing after his own pink hair is Caleb’s. It’s still romantic if you’re saving people from trouble you sent their way, right? Right? Points gained for asking if Caleb is okay after the fight, and for them both being very dark, between advocating for decapitation and threatening Moro and her employee with decapitation, simmer down a second Caleb.

+10 to Caleb/Vulture Culture. Between Frumpkin’s new shape and getting Those Good Spell Components, our dear Caleb, covered once more in gore and shit and Death, is his happiest self. Hopefully he didn’t ruin his new fancy threads.

+2 to Beau/Hosting as Beau practices Manners and Decorum with a “no, sir” to the attacking demons (#CustomerService). Some mixed messages by following this up with pummeling them to death, but An Effort Was Made.

+4 to Caduceus/Nature as he found a new mushroom! Which will definitely not be a bad mushroom in any way.

+90 to Caleb/Cat-Shaped Creatures. There’s the usual spying Frumpkin rigmarole, but it says something about your love for cats when you’re willing to forgive, nay, even love, suspiciously dog-like behavior of gross licking for affection—so long as it’s coming from a cat. Caleb cleverly disposing of troublesome corpses and feeding his favorite members of the M9 at the same time. Caleb also adorably taking Jannick out for a little run on the Fields of Death, and all the Moorbounders coming in clutch as fighting machines (with some wonderful light-based assistance from Caleb, Support Catster Extraordinare), and somehow remaining unscathed during battle.

+45 to Fjord/Jester. Lips. Made. Contact. With. A. Cheek. That is very cheeky of you Fjord, if I do say so myself. Jessie is said, not once but twice, and Jester gets to be her true #LovesToBeAKnightInShiningArmor self as she saves Fjord repeatedly by murdering the demons attacking him, only getting slightly annoyed that he gets in trouble immediately after she saves him the first time. Seriously though, the amount of Goopy Feelings Jester has for saving this poor man….well, #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress. Point loss for poor Jester failing to look as cool as the knights in the novels as she falls flat on her face with the handaxe strike, but she makes up for it by pounding the creature to death with her spiritual weapon instead, that was totally intentional. Point gains for Fjord being very Pleased with anything and everything Jester got up to, Jester pumping up Fjord’s accent and impersonation skills, contributing to Corpse Interrogation with her own Disguise Self, and the Excellence that was the fake Insta-Death spell the two of them threatened Moro with.

-8 to Nott/Yeza “Tell Veth I love her” does not make up for fucking ditching your husband without a word, Nott, you absolute asshole. Please talk to your spouse.

+13 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester In another great week for this triad, they all prove to be Excellent at Delivering Deceptive Threats, though Caleb is as per usual a little too serious about his contributions (though the other two are uh a bit more on the serious side as well this is a Bloodthirsty Throuple) The Epic Triangle Of Saving Each Other, as Jester rescues Fjord and Fjord hustles to rescue Caleb, followed by Jester’s healing action. Fjord taking joy in Jester falling on top of Caleb, and the both of them being very good about letting the Totally Actually Injured And Not At All Faking dramatic wizard take a short rest for Beau.

+1 to Fjord/Caleb. Most of their points this week were more applicable to Caleb/Fjord./Jester, but the instant “Moro, you got to die” when Caleb Can’t-Switch-Tasks Assassin Wizard suggests it is still very fun. Fjord sort of leaps to Caleb’s suggestions this episode, the ultimate yes-and-man.

+6 to Fjord/Detective Work as he steers the party clear of the Bad Tar Pits, they might have landed in quite a sticky situation otherwise

+20 to Critters/Detective Work, as the cast very loudly run through the Totally Natural Conclusion to the clues provided in the last ep, they Definitely Solved This Themselves, they had No Help From The Internet.

+14 to Fjord/Caduceus. Fjord offers to “loom” over Caduceus’ shoulder and points out that he looks “fleek” like damn, Caduceus, the boy is making an effort for you! As usual they are On The Same Wavelength and good cop/bad cop Moro and co. like pros, no discussion or even a conspiratorial glance required, they know what the jig is before anyone else. Fjord advocating for sending Moro money because that was Caduceus’ plan, no one is allowed to argue. Also being excellent interrogators of corpses together. Fjord is a huge fan of Caduceus’ magical food powers, #MagicalCrush, would “not turn down” Caduceus’ healing, and he kills some bats Cads was slapping around. Unfortunately without the bats Caduceus proceeds to slap a bunch of points out of the ship by saying he “doesn’t care.” That is cold.

+7 to Jester/Caduceus as they do a little awkward dance on the steps to make it around each other, and spending hours annoying everyone else in the party by talking about Cleric Things. Caduceus being impressed over Jester totally lying about being able to talk to dead horses, and Jester going wild over HOW COOL the Corpse Interrogation was. The Clerics Cuddling for comfort when the enemies first attack, since that was definitely what Jester and Caduceus were doing no questions here. Points taken away because Jester’s enthusiasm for Corpse Interrogation sort of glosses over how Caduceus “feels dirty” over the whole affair, they are apparently not too compatible in this area.

-5 to Nott/Yasha as Nott makes a sincere and successful effort to apologize to Yasha for sticking her like a pincushion and trying to be Nice and Supportive with memory games to help Yasha remember the “drow.” But points are drained away into the negatives as Nott goes a little too hard with the interrogation over Yasha having potentially killed people to make orphans (“that’s a cool name” and “Orphie” is terrible and does not make up for this nonsense), and Yasha’s well-received but still terrible allowance of Nott’s alcoholic predilections. They are a wonderful trainwreck to watch.

-20 to The Mighty Nein/Names. As of right now, there appears to be one (1) member of the Mighty Nein in Caduceus Clay who did not at some point either change their name or have some type of Name Angst over what someone else has named them. Though making faces at ‘Ducey might come to count for something, in time.

+11 to Nott/Jester Speaking of Disguise Self Shenanigans, how Nott is the Moro to Jester’s invisible bugbear, making them the logical pairing of the Corpse Interrogation Caper. Jester’s adorable confusion over her nickname being “Little Sapphire” which leads to Nott instantly screeching about how beautiful and perfect Jester is, that lovable dumbass. Nott using the word “shiny” to describe Jester, which seems technically a little odd but says loads about Nott’s affection for the gal, as this is the #1 lover of Shiny Valuable Things in the party speaking.

+8 to Jester/Yasha as Yasha in her sweet soft way also points out how Jester is very pretty and brings up Fluffernutter as a potential badass name that some of the people in her tribe might have been named for. Jester, for her part, directing Worrywarting in Yasha’s direction over how she was recognized and trying to give Yasha control over what they do next and what Yasha wants, though dear Yasha who cannot assert herself to save her life only manages to tentatively say she wants to know what’s going on before saying she’ll do whatever the group wants. (They! Want! What! You! Want! Yasha!)

-6 to Jester/Curtains, which surprisingly don’t taste as good to tieflings as they do to moths. Further experimentation required to determine how delicious they are to goblins, firbolgs, half orcs, aasimar and humans.

-101,019.01 to Critters/Child Poverty. TAKE THAT, CHILD POVERTY! This is how much was raised at the end of the stream, and a deserved kick in the face to all Child Poverty ships everywhere #AntiChildPoverty

[nova-fanart-dump]

SCIENCE LECTURE

In my fic here, Sherlock has a little brainstorming session while drugged out of his mind, and this sheet of notes below is the result of it. I decided to write out a little explanation as to what all the individual parts of it mean. The explanation will be in the format of ITEM - TRANSLATION - BREAKDOWN. The item will be the selection of the notes that the section will be explaining, copied roughly verbatim for the reader's convenience. The translation, if needed, will be translating Sherlock's (my) shorthand into standard notation. The breakdown, then, will be the explanation.

Disclaimer: I was a medical student, before I had to withdraw due to hand injury, and my area of study in undergraduate was neuroscience and neuropsychology (and music performance, but that's not relevant here). I do try and explain everything in layman's terms, but 1) it will get a little technical in parts, fair warning, and 2) I'm still learning on how best to explain concepts to other. I try my best, people!

ITEM 1: THE LIST

1) Narcotics- hallucin? (Translation: Hallucinogen)

2) Sleep dep. Halluc (Translation: Sleep deprivation Hallucination)

3) Mycroft- test?

4) Lights show

5. GMO (Translation: Genetically Modified Organism)

6) Moriarty???

7) Acute psychosis xxx

Breakdown:

In the episode, Sherlock says that he had come up with seven possible reasons for how he, Henry, and John could have all seen the dog-that-could-not-exist, and that he'd settled upon narcotics as the most likely. I came up with a list of seven of my own reasons:

1) Narcotics- hallucinogen: self-explanatory, as explained by the actual episode.

2) Sleep deprivation hallucination: this episode takes place what appears to be several days into pretty severe nicotine withdrawal, for Sherlock. His sleep schedule seems to be disastrous as is, and the nicotine withdrawal would've made him even more wired, so there's a solid chance he hadn't slept for several days, which is long enough to for sleep deprivation-induced hallucinations. While the hypothesis itself is perfectly sound, Sherlock puts it at number 2 instead of 1 because A) Henry ALSO saw the dog, B) sleep deprivation induced hallucinations generally don't start out with a full-fledged monster dog screaming in your face. If this hypothesis had been correct, he should've been experiencing more subtle hallucinations all night long.

3) Mycroft- test?: As discussed in series four, Mycroft occasionally has been employing tests into Sherlock's mental stability for decades, focusing on what Sherlock believes to be a dog. Sherlock, being Sherlock, has likely noticed this. Mycroft knows Sherlock is hanging around Baskerville. Sherlock also knows Mycroft knows this. Under the influence of a paranoia-inducing narcotic, Sherlock very easily could suspect his nosy brother at being somehow responsible.

4) Lights show: Again, inspired by series 4, and how the illusion of a ghost is created in TAB with nothing more than a projector. The logistics of how this would actually work are hazy, which is why this is further down the list, and quickly discounted by Sherlock.

5) GMO: While GMOs are usually discussed in the context of resilient strains of plants, all it really means is genetically modified organism. I'm speaking as one educated in 2014+, not 2012 (the ep air date), but breeding an especially large dog, and genetically modifying it to have red eyes, would probably not be too difficult a feat, scientifically. It could even be glowing, if you spliced in that GFP gene that the scientist mentions! However, this possibility is unlikely, because it raises the very big question as to why the scientists would allow their experiment to roam wild and attack people, why the scientists would bother making it in the first place, why haven't others taken pictures, etc. This is why it's so low on the list.

6) Moriarty???: Similar premise as the Mycroft's inclusion.

7) Acute psychosis xxx: AKA, "I lost my mind". Very unlikely, because it doesn't explain why Henry shared his hallucination, has no explanation as to why or how, and he has no other symptoms suggestive of a psychotic break. Which is why Sherlock scratched it out, and marked it with three Xs.

ITEM 2: THE FEEDBACK LOOP

This refers to the diagram, sitting just to the right of the list.

Breakdown:

X -> SNS Act -> Occ. -> (SNS Act) | (Amyg up) (Temporal) (up up Amyg)

Translation:

Unknown Substance X -> Sympathetic Nervous System Activation -> Occipital Cortex

(Amygdala stimulation) (Temporal) (Further Amygdala stimulation)

Let's define some terms!

This little diagram is a positive feedback loop, drawn very messily and with multiple steps added in after the fact. In biology, a feedback loop is a circuit in which the output of a system feeds back around to affect the system's input, which indirectly affects the system's output again, and so on. A simple example of a positive feedback loop is as follows: Addition of Substance X to System yields output of Substance Y. Substance Y triggers the production of more of Substance X, which again yields the output of more of Substance Y, which again triggers more production of Substance X- and so on. (feedback loops in the body are far more complicated, and most will eventually trigger their own end, etc, but such discussion is beyond the purpose of this post).

Unknown Substance X = input of whatever Sherlock was drugged with

Sympathetic Nervous System = simplistically speaking, our autonomic nervous system has two parts that work together, the sympathetic nervous system, and the parasympathetic nervous system. PNS can be summed up as rest and digestion, while SNS can be summed up as fight or flight.

Occipital Cortex = simplistically speaking, the visual center in the brain. There are other areas involved, but this area is the key and center to visual perception.

Temporal = simplistically speaking, the auditory cortex in the brain.

Amygdala = simplistically speaking, the fear center of the brain.

(I am defining all these terms as their relation to this situation at hand, nothing more. The brain is not so simple as to allocate X Function to Y cortex.)

So, Sherlock theorizes that input of Drug X stimulates the SNS and/or the amygdala, which caused inappropriate occipital lobe stimulation leading to hallucinations, which increased Sherlock's fear response, which caused further SNS activation, and so on. He suggested temporal lobe as a possible step; however, at no point during the episode did the drug cause auditory hallucinations, which is why it's not including in the loop proper.

There are actually a few problems with his loop, because he drew it out on the fly, while high off his mind, and he's not a neuroscientist, but he's got the right idea. The inappropriate, uncontrollable stimulation of the amygdala is almost certainly what Drug X causes, and would result in fear, paranoia, and increased suggestibility, all stated symptoms of Drug X. Inappropriate amygdala stimulation leads to inappropriate SNS activation, which encourages hallucinations, but would not cause them directly. It's likely that the drug also caused overproduction of dopamine, which can cause hallucinations. (However, there is no guarantee the occipital cortex was involved).

Whatever the chemical cause of the hallucination, he "sees" the dog, freaks out more, amygdala continues to be stimulated, freaks out because he’s Sherlock and isn’t used to freaking out, and the cycle continues, which is what leads to Sherlock's panic attack/meltdown in the pub- short-term, we're able to handle those stress reactions, especially if they're rational reactions to a stimulus, but keep them going for hours at a time and the body will start to freak out.

ITEM THREE: SYMPTOMS LIST

3a. Tachycardia, (up)hidrosis, shaking, panic attack?, nausea, emesis

(up)hidrosis = hyperhidrosis

Breakdown: Very rapid heartrate, increased sweating, shaking, nausea, emesis = vomiting, panic attack? (Question mark because Sherlock is not convinced of the diagnosis. Even high off his mind, he's still got his pride- he's Sherlock Holmes! He does not Get panic attacks! >;0)

3b. NOT NICOTINE, WITHDRAWAL UPUPUP

Breakdown: as John says in the pub, Sherlock was pretttty wired before all of this. Sherlock notes down that these symptoms are not the result of the nicotine withdrawal, because he can still feel the now increased effects of the nicotine withdrawal going on alongside these new symptoms. Chemically speaking, Drug X probably wouldn’t have any /direct/ effect on nicotine withdrawal, but it very well might exacerbate it indirectly.

3c. OH NO EFFECT - NOT STIMULANT

Translation: Alcohol no effect - not stimulant

Alcohol, to our bodies, is a depressant. If you drink it with a straight stimulant, like caffeine, their effects will counteract each other; for example, if I want to drink but keep clear-headed, I'll have a soda with my glass of wine. (DISCLAIMER: this will not make it safe to drive, this will not prevent alcohol poisoning, this can be dangerous, and do not do it in anything but careful moderation). Sherlock, as seen in the show, gets a shot of alcohol, probably in a desperate bid to calm down. It also does not work at all, because he was not dosed with a stimulant, but a hallucinogenic. The hallucinations led to stimulant-esque effects, but with no stimulant to counteract, Sherlock would simply end up sloshed and panicking. Sherlock realizes that the alcohol is not having the desired affect, and, when he realizes he was drugged, concludes that it therefore can not have been with a simple stimulant.

ITEM FOUR: DIAGRAM B

Oral --> long-lasting VS inhale --> feedback loop

no IV/IM

BLOOD TEST NEC ASAP (check)

Breakdown:

While the identity/structure of the drug he was dosed with are important, the route/method of administration are also a huge factor of variability that affects the intensity and timeline of the symptoms. Sherlock mentions four different routes of administration, here: oral (PO), inhalation, IV, and IM (intramuscular). A drug taken orally will have slower and longer lasting effects than one that is inhaled: one that is inhaled will act almost immediately, as seen in the episode, and its effect will also wear off very quickly.

Sherlock theorizes he must have taken the drug either orally or inhaled it, because the only other options are being stuck with a needle at some point, which he is sure never occurred. (Really, there are a few other options, most notably transdermal, that is unlikely for other reasons). Because the drug affects him for so long, he assumes he must have taken it orally, but also allows inhalation a spot on the list, by noting it could have instigated a feedback loop, and continued affecting him even after it'd left his system. He also notes the need for an urgent blood test, in the case that there are still some traces left to analyze. Especially if the drug was inhaled, the blood needs to be drawn ASAP. (Without any information on the chemical structure of Drug X, though, I can’t make any sort of estimation on what results Sherlock’s own blood test would show, with the sample drawn ~8 hours after being dosed).

ITEM FIVE: TIMELINE

To the left of diagram B, eleven hash marks next to a supremely messy "hours". AKA, eleven hours of 'experimentation', after Sherlock realizes he was drugged.

(upside down-items):

ITEM SIX: FORMULA

C12H22O11

The chemical formula for a sugar, which, as Sherlock states in the episode, was his initial theory. This would suggest PO as method of administration, not inhalation, but Sherlock's also not thinking too straight, right now. Give him a break. (He's also probably got a ton more information on PO medications in his head than airborne compounds).

ITEM SEVEN: SHERLOCK'S THEORY

THC? -amyg overstim in subject

-no SNS activ

(scratched out, termed STUPID by Sherlock)

Translation:

THC? - amygdala overstimulation in subject

-no SNS activation

Breakdown (this is the most technical passage of the post, fair warning:)

The 'subject' in this case refers to Sherlock. THC, as you probably know, is is the primary hallucinogenic/psychoactive component of cannabis (marijuana). Also as you probably know, cannabis tends to reduce anxiety effects in most individuals, but in some, it results in a paradoxical panic reaction. We're not entirely sure why, but this panic reaction appears to be due to GABA paradoxical disinhibition. Essentially, in a standard patient, cannabis leads to mass increases in GABA, which is the calm-down chemical in the brain. However, in these select patients, cannabis' initial activation of GABA may lead to the brain telling the production of GABA itself to calm down, which lead to an overall decrease in GABA levels in the amygdala, which leads to a panic reaction. (Disclaimer: This is still a working theory in the scientific community, and all depends on an individual's makeup of receptors and neural circuits. This is by no means settled discussion, either the end result or its mechanism.)

Overall, irrelevant to THC and cannabis, patients with severe childhood trauma do tend to have amygdalas that are primed for overstimulation (possibly by the very process described in the paragraph above). Whether Sherlock deleted Eurus and Victor or not, those neurological affects aren't something he could just will away. This is not saying that if you have childhood trauma, you will have a negative reaction to cannabis- but it IS saying that Sherlock might be a candidate expected to have a negative reaction.

Now, given Sherlock's extensive drug history, I'm sure he tried cannabis, at some point. It is also, however, never once brought up in the series proper, which suggests he has absolutely no interest in trying it again- perhaps because he had a negative reaction the first time. The panic reaction and amygdala overstimulation would probably feel similar to how Drug X affected him, which is why, initially, Sherlock writes it down as a suggestion, and also notes that it would not directly cause SNS activation. (At this point, he is not sure if SNS activation is a direct symptom or not).

He then swiftly marks it out as a stupid theory, because he realizes that he has a very atypical reaction to THC, so the likelihood of Henry sharing his hallucination and panic is very low. More to the point, because his reaction is so atypical and unpredictable, it makes no sense that unknown criminals would drug them with it.

TO SUM UP:

Sherlock is a graduate chemist, not a medical doctor, neuroscientist, or neuropsychologist. He does seem to have a great degree of interest and expertise in pharmacology, and probably also has a lot of knowledge in different routes of administration, due to his own personal history and his interest in forensics. However, he has no need to know, for example, the exact neuro-chemical causes of hallucinations. Therefore, his sheet of data is intentionally a bit spotty and with questionable accuracy, at points. (He also gets a bit of a break, considering he was "off his tits", or whatever the fuck that means, at the time. Poor guy needs a rest and a blanket and a hug.)

And that sums up Ranowa's entirely unnecessary lecture on pharmacodynamics!

[juliaisabellphoto]

Music Journal #1: 2018 Albums of the Year

Thus far, I’ve dedicated this blog solely to my attempts at becoming a decent photographer, as well as some scattered descriptions of my travels. While I have no intention of making this blog absurdly personal or anything more than an artistic outlet, I’ve always had an itching to write about the music I find & listen to. So, without further ado, I’ll start with my favorite albums of the year (& a short summary of my thoughts on each)

1. Tash Sultana, Flow State

I stumbled upon this gem of a project late in 2018 when I was itching for an album to drown myself in. As soon as the first notes of “Seed (Intro)” blasted in my headphones, I knew I had chosen right. With a beautiful combination of melodic guitar riffs, biting electronic drum tracks, and silky, laid-back vocals, Sultana opens up a world for the listener to fall into. Listening to this album is startlingly similar to a dreamless night of sleep - one moment you feel as though you can discern the differences between tracks, and the next you’ve made it all the way to track eight without noticing. “Cigarettes” is certainly the vocal gem of the piece, with smooth R&B roots & a chorus that just won’t get out of your head. In stark contrast, “Blackbird” is a song of instrumental mastery. The vocals take a backdrop to the intense conversation (and at some points, argument) being had by Sultana’s competing guitar melodies. Sultana’s work on the guitar is often reminiscent of John Butler Trio & other acoustic greats, but the addition of their unique voice allows the album to take an entirely unique shape of its own. If I have one piece of advice for 2019, it’s to make time to sit and do nothing but listen to this album. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVDJ8O3lPBA

2. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

This was an obvious choice. Ari dropped the album we all needed to hear in 2018. With the artful ability to produce banging pop songs with real meaning, Grande has the makings of a star who will not stop shining for a long, long while. The album is brimming with girl power and independence while also being honest and genuine. The entrancing bass line and sexy confidence of “God is a woman” captured the attention of functionally everyone this year, and with good reason. The subsequent confessional “breathin” showed that even the most badass women have their struggles. Chronicling her fight with anxiety, the song provides a stunning anthem for holding your head up through hard times. If this album proves anything, it is that the new queen of pop has arrived and will be staying. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivwciGSLC-M

3. ASAP Rocky, TESTING

In this album, ASAP Rocky ascends to a whole new level of hip-hop greatness. When describing the project, he stated that it was ‘all about testing new sounds,” and that shows. The abrasive intro song, “Distorted Records,” sets the stage for a completely unique soundscape. This experimentation continues throughout the album with funky drum tracks and accompanying melodies, but ASAP Rocky’s clean vocal style provides a uniting constant. 

While most of this album is perfect for blasting on the highway with car windows down, one song stands out as an independent masterpiece. “Purity.” featuring Frank Ocean, stands in stark contrast to the air of invincibility found in the rest of the album. This song is vulnerable: an introspective discussion of intoxication-related demons laid over an artful sample of Lauryn Hill’s “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind.” This slow, heart-wrenching piece provides an end to the album that is completely antithetical to its beginning. The immense versatility shown in one album alone deserves to be at the top of any 2018 list.

4. Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that the best instrumental music has the ability to say more than any lyrics can. Khruangbin’s second album does just that: every song has a character and a storytelling emotion wrapped up in its funky bass lines. At times, the album floats along as life does (see “Como Me Quieres.) At others, for example in Maria Tambien, there is the feeling of being in the midst of some dramatic situation. The album instrumentally represents the  stages of individual thought (both active and passive) and it is completely enthralling. 

Fun fact: the track “August 10″ is the song “August 12″ from their first album, but played in reverse. They described it as a “connective tissue” between their first album and their second. Cool stuff!

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWLJeqLPfSU

5. Mitski, Be the Cowboy

I first listened to this album as I fell asleep on a plane ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The droning, climactic beauty of this album is best experienced on its own with nothing to distract but your own droopy eyes. The album starts off slow with “Geyser,” but quickly works its way up to the earth-shaking climax of “Pearl.” The album is filled with complex sonic peaks and valleys from there on out (try to find a melodic similarity between “Remember My Name” and “Come into the Water” - I date you.) The songs of this album feel like different chapters in a storybook, and that’s exactly how Mitski wanted it. When she described her intentions, she said that she wanted the album to feel like “the image of someone alone on a stage.” ‘Be the Cowboy’ cleverly achieves this - finishing the album feels like finishing a novel, including the disappointment at the lack of further content. 

6. Troye Sivan. Bloom

This pop album bursting with energy and emotion accesses the wonderful, terrible process of falling in and out of love. While I could talk for paragraphs upon paragraphs about the hours that I spent dancing in my kitchen to this album, that’s not the primary reason for this album’s place on my list. With ‘Bloom,’ Sivan produced one of the most emotionally versatile musical pieces of the year. When I discuss his songs with people, I am always struck by the differences in what they mean to each of us. Certainly, this variance in meaning is the nature of music - but Sivan pushes that to a new level. His songs are a vibrant and powerful normalization of gay expression, and provide the whole world with relatable songs to dance (and cry) to.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI

7. J. Balvin, Vibras

There is only one thing that this album makes you want to do: dance. It is absolutely guaranteed that your hips will be moving by the end of song number two. The beats on this new album are hot and infectious, as shown by the popularity of “Mi Gente” in clubs everywhere. Reggaeton as a genre has gained massive popularity globally, and Balvin has jumped into this with new variations of the traditional Columbian style. Noticeable throughout the album are infusions of popular trap beats as well as salsa and electronic dance music (see “Machika.”) The album is undeniably sexy, y despues de escuchar todas personas quieren mas ;)

8. LP, Heart to Mouth

I read somewhere that this album was a “full-length heartbreaker.” As I progressed through each song, this description was confirmed ten times over. There is not a single song on this album that didn’t make me feel something real. In no particular order, LP represents the whirlwind of emotions that come with the end of a relationship: regret, pain, missing someone, liberation, strength. The entire conflicting mess is all there. Listen to ‘Recovery’ if you need a cry, and ‘Girls Go Wild’ if you need a therapeutic dance party. All I can do is feel thankful to have received this raw, empowering confessional. And of course, her stunning vocals don’t hurt one bit. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACWS4ajWdww

9. Mac Miller, Swimming 

Listening to this album in the wake of Mac’s death is haunting. His words cut deep, and they cut deeper after knowing the full extent of how he struggled. The themes of growth and healing are wrapped up in overwhelming melodies and Mac’s beautiful voice. The first track of the album, “Come Back to Earth,” sets the stage for the emotional rollercoaster that each track is bound to be. After this song, he launches into the groovy “Hurt Feelings” and begins to describe the intricacies of his hardships. This album is something you could easily bop around your kitchen table to (queue “What’s the Use?”), but if you listen too closely you might end up in tears. In this contemplative and instrumentally complex record, Mac’s last work was his strongest. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrR_gm6RqCo

10. Liz Brasher, Outcast EP

I first heard this EP on an episode of NPR’s “All Songs Considered” in the middle of a long drive up California Highway 5 (one that would’ve been torturous without the discovery of new music.) The song “Body of Mine” immediately caught my ear, and I dove into the rest of Brasher’s music as deeply as I could. Uncut garage-band sound is the overwhelming theme of the EP - “Body of Mine,” “Come My Way,” and “Outcast” make this crystal clear. Despite the quick assumptions that can be made about her sound, Brasher pulls complexity into the EP with the heart-wrenching ballads “Feel Something” and “Remain.” These two songs showcase the raw strength of her voice and the emotion that she can convey with it. I am excited to see what her music develops into as she gains more acclaim in the new year. Thanks again, NPR!

11. Travis Scott, ASTROWORLD

I haven’t been a huge Travis Scott fan in the past. I would passively listen to his music, but I never understood all the buzz about him. This album completely changed my mind. ASTROWORLD is a masterpiece in so many ways, and the amount of depth present in the album is mindblowing. While “STARGAZING” and “SICKO MODE” stand out as obvious party bangers, it’s no surprise that many fans are hooked on calmer tracks like “YOSEMITE” and “COFFEE BEAN.” If I were to describe the different musical styles employed on this album, I would truly be describing every song. Scott enters a new realm of production genius, giving club DJs exactly what they want while also producing the perfect songs for a chill night in smoking. He includes the autotuned party business he employed in past albums while also mixing in pure, clean cuts of his own voice. It was a pleasant surprise to hear an album from a trap artist with both diversity and widespread quality. Officially a Travis Scott fan. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enYt3dKXWkE

12. Christine and the Queens, Chris

I was also introduced to this album late in the year, and I’m glad I was because its energy was exactly what I needed. This half poppy half funky explosion of energy is what anyone needs to listen to on a down day. This album was her rebranding as Chris, an “affirmation of desire as a force of chaos” as she described in an interview with NPR. In both the album artwork and the record’s descriptions of love and identity, she plays with the fluidity of gender and its meaning in our modern era. This phenomenal record is an exercise in both shifting representations of desire and making you dance, and I’m so here for it.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjliweXTCYM

12. Kacey Musgraves. Golden Hour

This slow-rolling album is perfect for a slow day. When I initially saw this album on the top charts, I was confused - I had seen Musgraves live in 2014, I had heard “High Horse,” but what was SO special about her? It was only in taking a chunk of my day to sit and listen to this album that I caught the bug that everyone else seemed to already have. In this album, Musgraves develops into so much more of an artist than she has been in the past. She shifts from cookie-cutter radio country to a wonderfully sweet combination of cotton-candy pop and heartfelt Americana guitar riffs. Her message is positive, her lyrics are honest, and her sound is touching. I was most convinced by “Happy & Sad,” and I won’t deny that the song pulled tears out of my eyes. She conveys youthful happy energy while simultaneously acknowledging the uncertainty of that happiness, and we all needed it (even if we didn’t know it.) Plus, “High Horse” is a bop, and that’s that on that. 

13. BROCKHAMPTON, iridescence

After the expulsion of Ameer Vann from the group and the cancellation of a number of tour dates, many weren’t sure what to expect from Brockhampton in the coming weeks. The name of the upcoming album was changed, and presumably entirely new songs were recorded. Nevertheless, iridescence was received with intense anticipation from die-hard Brockhampton fans (myself among them.) The album fulfilled all hopes - with the first track, “NEW ORLEANS,” launching into an aggressive and high-energy beat, I couldn’t help but smile. Brockhampton did it yet again. The transitions between songs are seamless, and every song lends to the theatrics that they love to pull onstage. Much of the record feels like a high-speed formula one race, but the emotional “SAN MARCOS” pulls listeners into another dimension entirely. Hearing this song performed live was one of the more powerful moments of any concert I’ve ever seen - the outro was made to be passionately sung by a crowd, and it so was. And “TONYA” - wow. I could go on forever about this album.

14. Boygenius, boygenius

The cover art for this record is simple, and that simplicity shines through in its tracks. The collaboration of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus in this project is pure magic. The music is calm, melodic, and easy to become entranced by. Their voices could lull me to sleep any day, and every song feels like it could play during the part of a movie when the protagonist stares out a car window in deep thought. Each song builds to an emotionally charged climax in exactly the tortured way that a listener would expect from these three artists. At this point, I’d be deeply sad if these three didn’t continue making music as a group. They are a gift.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS48Lp34Zic

15. Kali Uchis, Isolation

Kali Uchis blooms in a real way in Isolation. Busting at the seams with sexy confidence, her psychedelic-funky R&B traversal of genres on this record is just perfect. Her uniquely smooth voice pulled over left-of-center beats lends itself to an album full of hits. “After the Storm” featuring Tyler the Creator gained quick popularity, and it is a good representative of the vibe that the rest of the album gives off. A laid back, sexual, happy piece of musical experimentation, Kali Uchis is here to play ball. 

16. Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

With Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B burst onto the popular rap scene with no regrets. Every song exudes her bad bitch energy and reclaims the rap music tropes typically employed exclusively by men. While an incredible ancestry of female rappers came before her, Cardi B has broken the musical glass ceiling in a big way. She is the first female rapper to reach number one on the Billboard top 200 in over 20 years, has the most Billboard top 100 entries of any female artist in history, and many more. She is a true ‘rags-to-riches’ success story, and she’s here to tell us all about it. I’m listening.  

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LPVjHxXvJM

17. Ryan Beatty, Boy in Jeans

I just saw an article titled “Ryan Beatty writes really good pop songs about boys.” This was a quite simplistic summary of what’s going on here, but it’s not wrong. Despite his vocals on Brockhampton’s “Bleach” and his frequent collaboration with the popular group, Beatty didn’t break out individually in the music scene until now. He certainly did so with this album, and he did it well. His slightly left-of-center pop featuring a voice with the consistency of caramel is exactly what everyone wants to hear. It’s the perfect music for a scenic car ride, and I’m obsessed.

18. The Decemberists, I’ll Be Your Girl

I’ve been a fan of the Decemberists for a long time, and I saw them at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley on their last tour. I would see them again in a heartbeat, and I will never get over the passion that goes into Colin Meloy’s vocal presentation. With the high-energy promotion of this album, I was expecting typical Decemberists greatness. What I got was something entirely different - greatness, but nothing typical. This electronically-infused record exposed a new side of the Decemberists that I am refreshed to hear. The addition of synth and an Arcade Fire type vibe suits them and the sort of rebranding they desired to achieve. With this album, the Decemberists evolved in a way they never have, and I applaud them for it. 

19. J. Cole, KOD

There are a number of people who love to hate on J. Cole, and I’ve never understood it. With this album in particular, J. Cole distinguished himself with both lyrics and production value. The album cover above depicts excessive drug use, and in fine print states “This album is in no way intended to glorify addiction.” This powerful message alone sets the stage for an album that means something. The subsequent subject matter of each of the record’s tracks follows this narrative - a description of being stuck in the ways of drug addiction. I have always appreciated J. Cole for his ability to tell a complete story through an album despite the lack of a chronological order or common plot in each song. The album shows the deterioration of a drug addict - from the high of “KOD” to  the contemplative pain of “Once an Addict (Interlude).” 

20. Kendrick Lamar, Black Panther the Album

Everything produced surrounding the Black Panther movie was a hit. The power of this movie and the contributors to this album is unparalleled. Aside from the clear message that this media sent, every song is phenomenal. “All the Stars” displays SZA’s ridiculous vocal prowess. “X” is the perfect hype song, displaying Kendrick’s sassy and innovative lyrical technique. In “The Ways,” Khalid’s sweet voice embodies the beauty of the powerful woman he describes. “I Am” by Jorja Smith absolutely knocks the album out of the park - this stunningly sexy track propelled her onto the music scene, and thank god it did. I’d listen forever if I could. I’d go on, but every song on this album is an iconic collaboration. 

Must watch: the movie.

21. Houndmouth, Golden Age

This album is so painfully underrated. If you want a pick me up, listen to Golden Age. Immediately. From the album’s floaty start to the explosive mood of the album’s namesake track, it’s all hits and no misses. Embracing a completely different musical tone from their last album, Houndmouth seizes a futuristic alt-rock cacophony as their new style. Taking nods from 80s Phil Collins numbers (the beginning of Strange Love... come on!), they take us back to a golden age of sorts while also propelling us to a fun future. I will never not dance my pants off to this album.

[onestowatch]

1990nowhere Delivers Some Much Needed Nostalgia

I’ve always been a fan of Lostboycrow, Olivver The Kid, and Armors, so you can understand my excitement when I learned that they were coming together to create the new band, 1990nowhere. Their self-titled EP, 1990nowhere transports you into the past and wraps you with all the nostalgic feelings you’ve been yearning for. The three-piece band has brought the sounds of early-2000s pop rock, to the present, and has intertwined a unique indie twist throughout.

“Trying to stay level

Putting salt on snow

Someone get a shovel

Bury all my foes”

Every verse of their latest release, “Sundance Kid,” makes you want to chant and sing along. Whether you’re feeling happy, sad, or angry, this track presents you the opportunity to let go and be free. It’s not everyday you find a song that brings you solace and joy all at once, but 1990nowhere has hit the nail on the head and has provided a 4-track EP of just that.

We had the opportunity to sit down *virtually* with Chris, Bryan and Olen to discuss the making of their debut EP, how they came together as a new band, and what they hope to accomplish.

Ones to Watch: Congrats on releasing the final single “Sundance Kid” off your EP! Was there a specific reason you saved this track for last?

Bryan: “Sundance Kid” is definitely a special song for us. It has a lot of energy, and is a song we’re very excited to play live. We felt this would be a good one to end with to end on a high note - i feel like bands normally roll out their slower songs later and we wanted to end with potentially the most energetic on EP1.

Where does the name 1990nowhere come from?

Chris: I feel like most things floating around in my mind can serve one of three purposes. Song name. Band name. Album title. I'd had the name 1990nowhere in my back pocket around when we started making music together, unsure of which category it would fall under. After going through a couple joke names that didn’t stick Bryan reminded me of this name I’d mentioned to him and kind of forgotten about. It then seemed like the obvious choice - something that encapsulates who we are, the nostalgia and the dash of obscurity with which we approach our songs.

You each have your own artist project, Chris Blair (Lostboycrow, Asking For A Friend), Bryan Sammis (Olivver The Kid, La Bouquet), and Olen Kittelsen (Armors). What initiated the decision to join forces and create 1990nowhere and how did you all meet?

Bryan: Me, Sam (Producer) & Olen all met at a show years ago that La Bouquet & Armors played together. Shortly after we started working on some commercial work together. One fateful evening I brought Chris down to the studio to meet the boys. We made a song called “$20” that day in like 5 hours - from then on out it’s been so seamless it’s seemed like kind of a no-brainer. It’s so much fun, and comes so naturally that it seemed only right to share with the world and give this thing a fair shake.

Olen: We really approached the project, at least initially, without any real overarching goal or motivation other than just getting together to write songs with each other. I think that no-pressure mindset led to such an enjoyable process and I’m so glad it became 1990nowhere.

What inspired the nostalgic sound of the band?

Bryan: Personally I have always been enamored with nostalgia. It’s one of the strongest emotions one can feel (in my opinion). I think we started just doing what came naturally and at the time, Chris was bringing a lot of 90’s riffs to the table and I think the rest of us just naturally globbed onto that ear candy. Sometimes it’s more creative to work within a thinly laid set of minuscule parameters. It really has brought out the best in each of us.

You guys are each incredible singers and musicians, how do you decide who does what? What is the song writing process between the three of you?

Bryan: Thank you for saying that. I think it depends on the song & the part, the emotion, the vibe. A lot of it depends on who the song starts with & also who is feeling the strongest about that particular song. I like to think we are all capable of seeing who would fit best where & not getting too emotionally invested in having OUR part in a song. We all genuinely want what’s best for the song.

Chris: totally - It’s always been really effortless to come with an idea and know that two of your all time favorite singers/lyricists are sitting on either side of you to take an idea and run with it. Or vice versa. I think it comes down to a lot of trust and admiration for everyone in the room.

Olen: Echoing Bryan and Chris here but absolutely. It’s so awesome to belong to a group that is in equal parts support system and band. I love these dudes and getting to make music with them is a joyous experience. And in an environment like that, where there is nothing but trust, the end result is always something we’re collectively very proud of.

Is there a prominent message you hope your listeners take away from this EP?

Bryan: Friendship is important. Friendship is beautiful.

Chris: Solidarity. Boisterous fun. Solace.

Once the world is *eventually* back to a normal state, what do you hope to accomplish? Are there any tour discussions?

Chris: I think we all love taking our experience on the road into the studio - thinking what would be fun to sing or play live. Ultimately we wanna get on the road and stay on the road and be a family in a van spreading our message of love and friendship and losing guitar picks on stage.

Who are your Ones to Watch?

Bryan: Stretched, Jez Dior, 1990nowhere.

Olen: Fast Friends, Samia, Younger Hunger, Del Water Gap

Chris: babygirl, the band ice cream, honeywhip

[wikisolislamabad]

Logo Designer in Islamabad

Logo designers are professional graphic designers who create unique and custom brand imagery for the individual or company who hired them. Logo designers can either be freelancers, full-time employees at a design firm or advertising agency, or work under a temporary contract. Most professional designers have an undergraduate degree in graphic design and may also have experience in marketing and advertising.

Logo Designer in Islamabad

If you are looking to hire a logo designer, keep in mind that not all graphic designers are equipped with the same skills and capabilities of designing a great logo. You will find that some designers specialize in creating video content, while others prefer designing infographics, and some are more comfortable with making print advertisements more visually appealing. A good logo designer can’t just be proficient at creating a logo, they must also have a wide variety of other skills.

Skills every logo designer needs to have to be successful

· Excellent research capabilities. Designers need to be able to immerse themselves in their client’s industry. This could mean conducting thorough research about a particular product or delving into the specifics of how the business provides its services. Research about the client’s current market and its competitors is essential to developing a logo that will make the business stand out against the rest.The best tool a professional logo designer can have at their disposal is a branding questionnaire or briefing meeting. A branding questionnaire is a series of in-depth questions that are given to the client in order to help the designer understand what type of logo design they are looking for. Questions can range anywhere from “Is there a unique story behind your business or business name?” to “What is your budget?”

· 

Briefings can also be helpful for designers who are in the research phase of a logo design project. Client briefings often give designers a more intimate look at how the business operates, what makes them unique, and what their goals are for their logo and brand message. The best logo designers will meet with their clients in person for an hour or more and will come away with notes to help them create the first design iteration.

· 

· Ability to see the bigger picture. Novice logo designers will often get swept up in the need to delve into the details of a business logo. The most skilled designers, however, will be able to think conceptually. With the branding questionnaire and creative briefing notes at the ready, a designer should organize and analyze all of the information given to them regarding color and font preferences, logo styles, and potential business names or slogans.The ability to see the bigger picture allows a designer to map out an initial sketch of the logo. To prepare for the first draft, the best designers will utilize color wheels, mood charts, and font libraries. No design concept should be left unexplored at this stage.

Web design Islamabad

Great logo designers need to be able to think conceptually if they are to plan ahead. Designers need to keep in mind that clients will be using their logo for all of their marketing initiatives. Logos must be able to adapt to social media accounts, print advertising, websites, and promotional products. Asking the client about how they plan on marketing their new logo will provide a better sense of how the finished logo design should look.

· 

· Providing clear communication. This is the skill that sets good logo designers apart from great logo designers. Without the ability to effectively communicate with the client regarding what their needs and desires are regarding their design, the whole project could end in disaster and a severed contract.Inexperienced logo designers often rely too heavily on the answers written in the branding questionnaire or their notes from the creative briefing. It’s important to be flexible and open-minded to last-minute changes and requests from the client. At the same time, great logo designers should also have the confidence to inform their clients about the nuances of the design world. They should not shy away from explaining why certain colors don’t mesh well together, or why the font size won’t be visible enough when the logo is placed on a promotional product.

· 

Logo designers who can properly explain the concept of design to a client, be able to accept constructive criticism of their work, offer clever solutions to a problem, and work towards compromises on the design are the ones who tend to be the most successful in the logo design industry.

· 

How the logo design process works

Before you hire a designer, ask them first if they specialize in designing business logos. If they say yes, then the next step would be to request a portfolio of their past work. It’s crucial to determine if their logo design style is similar to how you envision what your finished logo will look like.

If you are looking to hire a logo designer to create your new business logo, then keep in mind that the design process will take longer than if you were to make a logo using an online logo maker. However, by opting for a professional designer, you can guarantee your logo will be unique to your business. Below is a quick rundown of what you can expect from the logo design process.

Step 1. Answer a branding questionnaire.

Your logo designer will most likely send you a branding questionnaire to fill out on your own time. It’s important to gather all individuals who will have a say in the branding initiatives (CEO, marketing team, investors, the board of directors, etc) to help contribute answers to this questionnaire. This will help avoid miscommunication later in the design process. If you don’t receive a branding questionnaire, then expect to set up a conference call with the designer and come prepared to answer questions about your business, your budget, and your design requirements.

Step 2. Industry and company research.

After your logo designer has gathered enough information about your business, they will take a day or two to conduct their own additional research about your industry or company. If you have news articles, press releases, or even a Wikipedia page about your business, chances are the designer will be reading these to get a better idea of how your business operates and what products or services you offer. The industry research phase may also consist of an in-depth competitor analysis. Real estate logos, for example, generally all have a certain style that is completely separate from that of the style of a restaurant logo. Designers want to make sure that your logo is acceptable and assimilates well into your particular industry.

Step 3. Provide initial sketches.

After compiling the information from the branding questionnaire and research, the designer will then send you a few initial drafts along with some commentary on their thought process regarding each design. For example, the designer may present a logo for a boutique clothing store. The logo may include the image of a clothing hanger and a whimsical, cursive font. Their thought process on this design choice might be that the client said they offer high-end feminine fashion. This is the time to again sit down with those involved in the rebranding process and discuss what aspects of the designs you like and which need to be scrapped or improved upon.

Step 4. Rework and revise.

Don’t feel bad about telling the designer exactly what you want; the more detailed feedback you give, the fewer revisions the designer will need to present to you because they will have a better understanding of what type of logo design you’re looking for. Keep in mind that your designer may have a limit on the number of revisions they will make on your logo, so it is especially important to give as much feedback in the beginning stages. Try to focus on color schemes, font types, the layout of the logo, and (if applicable) the wording of your business slogan. Dividing the aspects of your logo design into these different categories will also help the designer. This revision stage may take anywhere from a couple days to a week or more. If you’re pressed for time, it may be more beneficial to hire a logo designer that works at a design or marketing agency as they will be able to pull resources from within their company.

Step 5. Submit the final draft and provide image files. 

After the rework and revise phase (which could end up occurring more than once), the logo designer will present to you the final logo design for your business. At this point, the designer will also present you with a variety of different image file types, including PNG, JPG, and a vector or EPS file. They will make sure to explain what image file type is best for what type of marketing initiative so that your branded logo looks professional and clean across all mediums. A good designer will also provide you with a variety of image sizes to use specifically for your online channels, such as your Facebook cover photo, Twitter photo, and website logo image.

Ready to work with a professional logo designer on your new business logo? Let’s get you in touch with one of our in-house designers!

[lovelylittlebarnes]

Ghost of Christmas Past - Bethany and Jo’s Annual Christmas Fic, Part One

Here it is! The first part of Jo and I’s annual Christmas fic, so go follow my girl @wearewiththebands for the next part next week! And I hope you enjoy this one. Fourth year running!

Just a quick note, this part does contain underaged drinking, so.....drink responsibly!!!!

Ah high school graduation. That one event every high school student looks forward to for years. Including myself obviously. And now here it was. My years of high school were over (thank god). And here I was, sitting alongside my classmates, best friends and boyfriend Alex. And I couldn’t be happier.

“What are you smiling about?” Alex whispers into my ear, reaching over and taking my hand.

“Just thinking how happy I am to finally be leaving this hell hole.” I whisper back, making him chuckle.

“Same here. I think Mrs Davies would have cried if I was in her class any longer.” Jack interrupts Alex before he can even speak.

“You’re not included in this conversation, idiot.” Alex scolds Jack.

“Bet you’re gonna miss hearing us arguing all day.” Rian teases me from his seat on my right. And there it was. I didn’t even remember that Alex and I weren’t going to college together. No, wait, that was a lie. I did remember....I was just trying as hard as possible to ignore it. 

Alex, Jack, Rian and our other friend Zack were in a band called All Time Low. And they were incredibly talented. Trust me, I would know. I was their number one fan after all. They were so talented in fact, they had already been signed to a record company, even before they graduated, so they weren’t going to college. Whilst I was. In a different state. It was the first time Alex and I would be separated, and I was not looking forward to it at all. I had kept meaning to discuss what would happen with Alex, but he kept trying to change the subject. I would have to talk to him soon, because I would be moving away in a few weeks, and they would start recording their first EP a few days after I left.

“Well, I’m going to miss you all, but maybe when I’m on break I can come see you guys on tour.” I attempted a small smile, even though I was already ready to burst into tears. At least I wore waterproof mascara today. Alex must sense that I’m about to burst into tears, as he takes my hand and gives it a small squeeze. He was so sweet. I was going to miss him so much. Fuck. Here come the tears again.

“And now, I would like to welcome our graduates to the stage, one by one.” The principal states, smiling down at us. The guys and I stand up to start queueing. 

“Showtime.” Alex smiles down at me, giving my hand another squeeze. 

~~~

Graduation was over pretty quickly, and after having a lot of pictures taken by all of our parents, the guys and I bid farewell. Thankfully it wasn’t for the last time (yet). We were just going home to get ready for our celebration dinner, and then go to a graduation party hosted by one of our classmates which the guys were also performing at. Dinner was over pretty quickly, and soon we were dancing the night away and drinking......a lot.

“Are you guys ready for your performance?” I ask, sitting atop a table whilst the guys set up. 

“Yup, I think so. By the way, thanks for the help babe.” Alex laughs as I drank from my bottle of beer whilst he finished tuning his guitar. 

“You’re welcome.” I blew him a kiss. But the alcohol did little to mask the aching feeling in my chest as it began to set in that soon we would be separated from each other. I needed to talk to him. And soon.

“Okay, I think I need a kiss after all that hard work.” Alex jokes, walking up to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I need to talk to you when you’re done. It’s important.” I whisper into his ear. Alex looks confused for a moment, but he soon realises what I mean and nods.

“I’ll meet you on the roof.” He tells me, and I nod. He then gives me a quick peck on the cheek, before turning back to the small crowd forming to see them play. “Hey there new grads, how’re we doing tonight?!”

~~~

A few hours later, I sit on the roof, looking up at the stars. I left a few minutes before the guys performance ended, so hopefully Alex wouldn’t be too long. “Hey there.” I hear him say, as he sits beside me. Speak of the devil. “I brought a preeessseeeent.” He sings, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. I roll my eyes. Of course.

“Alex, we need to talk.” I tell him. His face gets a lot more serious, and he places the bottle in between his thighs. 

“I know.” He sighs.

“What’s going to happen to us?” I ask. “I mean, I’m going to college, and you’re going to tour the world with the guys. It’s not going to be like before when I could sneak over to your house and vice versa, or when we would drive to Burger King for lunch and then skip our afternoon classes to hang out at the park. We’ve never been apart this long. And I’m worried.” I admit. “What if you find someone else? Or if I do?”

“Hey. Listen to me.” Alex gently moves my chin, so I’m looking up at him. “First of all, I don’t think we’re good enough to tour the world right now, so I think we could rule that out. And like you said, there’s breaks at college, and maybe we could save up to visit each other for a weekend or two. And of course, there’s Christmas break! Your favourite time of year. Don’t tell me you’re not looking forward to seeing this handsome face wearing ugly sweaters!” He replies, winking, which makes me laugh. He was right. The two of us loved Christmas. Alex and I had actually kissed for the first time under the mistletoe, whilst Wham! played softly in the background, which was part of the reason why Alex and I loved the holiday so much. And Wham! obviously. “Anyway.” Alex continues. “I’m sure we’ll see each other before then, but you better try the Burger King’s before I come, alright? That way, we can go to the best one.” He orders, making me laugh. Alex had always known the right things to do or say to make me happy, including serenading me to cheer me up when my dog died (but that’s an entirely different story), and this time was no exception. “And besides. I don’t think you have to worry about me finding someone else. I’ve got the girl of my dreams right next to me. And I love you, so damn much. I don’t want this relationship to end.”

“Neither do I.” I reply. Alex takes my hand again, like he did earlier today.

“Well then. I know we’ll be just fine.” He smiles, before he kisses me. However, despite his romantic speech, I couldn’t help wondering if we really were going to be okay.

[agirlhasnonamehotd]

Defining Moments In Life and Love

This one is Mark x MC from Mark’s point of view. Enjoy!

“OOF!”

The sound of my ringtone, set to full volume, scares me out of a deep sleep. I hit the ground shoulder first, and swear as the sheets tangle around me like a straight jacket. The phone still screams out the sound of light sabers crossing. Damn Start Wars. I’m changing that crap.

 I fumble around the nightstand until I feel my phone and pull it towards me. If this is Amy and I’ve missed more than one call and two texts, I’m toast. I might as well answer with an apology. I take a breath and look at the screen. Ten missed texts. Two calls. All from Dani.

 Shit.

Dani’s good about respecting my sleep. When I text her goodnight I never hear from her until soccer practice is over the next morning - usually that is because I initiate discussion. If she’s trying to reach me at 2 a.m… something’s wrong. I answer the phone.

 “What’s going on?” I ask in alarm.

 I hear sniffling on the line, and very faint voice.

 “I’m in the hallway Mark, please let me in.”

 I hang up without another word and fight my way out of the sheets. I look, bleary eyed, in the mirror. Just boxers. Not a good idea. I throw on a soccer shirt and proceed to the door. As soon as I see her… I feel an overwhelming sense of concern. And also… attraction.

 She’s in my doorway in a short, slinky dress. It is so tight it hugs every curve in a way that makes my brain feel like mush. She’s beautiful. She’s perfect. And sad.  Her body shakes as a sob breaks free. Oh God…

 “Come in,” I whisper.

“Dani…what happened?”

“It’s Aidan… we…we…” her voice trails off.  

 Dani collapses against my chest; grabs a fistful of my shirt in one hand and wraps her other arm around my back. All at once I am both thankful and frustrated she’s not touching bare skin. I know what I want to do, but it’s not an option. Instead I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer.

 Maybe too close.

 “Is it bad?” I ask.

“On a scale of 1 to 10,” she warbles, “an 11.”

 This will not be an easy fix. No words of wisdom will solve this. She needs consoling. I have practice in four hours and it doesn’t matter to me at this moment. I need to take care of her. I want to.

 “C’mere,” I tell her gently.

 I walk her over to the futon in the den and help her sit. From the desk I pull a box of tissues and hand it to her. She looks up at and gives the faintest hint of a smile. It hits me straight in the heart. I never knew someone could be simultaneously breathtaking and heartbreaking when they cry.

Don’t think that.

 “Mark I’m so sorry I called,” she exclaims, “you have practice soon! You need rest! I’m sorry, I know Amy won’t want me he-“

“Nope,” I interrupt her, “forget Amy. I only care about you right now”.

 Did I really just say that? Forget my own girlfriend?

 Who was I kidding…I love Amy. When the two of us are together it’s pretty good…but…but..

That is a horrible road you’re travelling down, asshole. I go down it anyway. She’s no Dani.

 With a sigh I take one of her hands in mine and look at her. I look into those shining eyes and I wish like hell they were bright with the reflection of her smile. My heart aches to see her laughing, even if, like most days,  it’s at my expense.

 “Tell me.”  Is all I say.“I…I was supposed to go with Aidan to a party, but I had to write a paper. I told him I probably woudn’t make it. He seemed okay with it,” she starts, “ Ends up the paper wasn’t as complicated as I thought. I finished it, got dressed, and dragged my roommate to the Sig Ep House to surprise him… yeah, what a lovely surprise.”

 She stops and reaches for a tissue to wipe her face.

 “I guess in my absence he found someone else to occupy his time,” she mutters, “and his dick. I told him to go fuck himself and ran out.”

 A triumphant feeling washes over me. One of Dani’s many amazing qualities is her strength. I wish I had it. Maybe then things with Amy wouldn’t be so…

Dani. Focus on Dani.

 “Did he come out?” I inquire.

“Yep, but I still walked away. He looked like an idiot holding a pillow over himself, “she laughs bitterly, “he could’ve used a post it note instead. The pillow was a generous covering.”

 I laugh. Really loud. So hard in fact that a little snort escapes. Now, even though a tear still drips its way down her face, Dani is laughing, too. Seeing her full lips curve up in a smile and hearing her happiness, however brief, renders me breathless. Without any logical thought process I cup her face in my hands; rub her cheek with my thumb. She smiles up at me and for the moment…for one damn moment I see it. She and I together, this look on her face when I tell her that since my birthday party last year she’s been a constant thought in my head. That being around her makes me feel electrified, and bright, and ready to accomplish anything. I want to tell her she’d never be unhappy again. Not with…

 “Mark…”

When I come back to reality I realized I’ve stopped caressing her cheeks and am touching her lips. My heart drops to my stomach…but…I don’t see confusion or anger in her gaze. Instead I think see… no…that can’t be… her expression mirroring my own?

 “Does he need a soccer cleat to the balls?” I joke, moving my hands back to my own lap.

“Make sure to wear a ski mask when you do it,” she warns, “can’t have you kicked off the team for garbage like him.”

 That’s my girl. Well, not my girl. Her strength continues to inspire me. I look at my phone. An hour has gone by.  Beside me, Dani yawns.

 “I don’t want you walking across campus by yourself,” I tell her. The thought of some drunk frat boy or Aidan approaching her makes me anxious.

“Mark, I have that mace keychain you got me, I’ll be fine-“

“You’re staying here.”

 I take her hand and pull her off the couch. She needs at least a couple hours of sleep to ease her mind. My bed still looks a tornado hit it. I fix the sheets and comforter from my trip to the floor and then pull them down on one side. Dani climbs in.

 She’s in my bed. What would it be like to see her there on a regular basis? To come back from the kitchenette while the coffee brews and see her sound asleep. What would it be like to…

 “Stay?”

 The thoughts in my head fall like teetering Jenga pieces. I blink once, twice, three times. Did she just ask me to stay?

 “You sure?” I ask her

 “Please.”

Laying in bed is a forbidden thought so I sit beside her. She turns on her side; instead of using my pillow she puts her head in my lap and takes my hand in one of hers.

 “He never deserved you,” I finally confess, “you know that right?”

“I guess,” she mumbles.

“Someday…you’ll have someone in your life who will understand how special you are,” My voice quakes when I say it, “because you really are one of a kind.”

“Mark… you’re my best friend,” she whispers through another yawn.

“And you’re mine, Dani,” is all I can manage.

 Those are the last words we say to each other. I stroke her hair and watch her eyelids slowly droop until they’re completely closed.  I never move and she never lets go of my hand. My whole body feels different.  Like something isn’t and will never be the same. In this moment my best friend becomes something more to me. I’m not sure what and I’m not sure I should even define it. I just know somehow …when the hurt stops and her smile permanently returns… when the time is finally right for us…

 She’ll be mine.

 And I will NEVER make her do anything but smile.

[polysandershell]

Make Note (Sharpies) Part 2

Me? Late? hahaaa, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m really sorry this took like a month and I won’t promise the next chapter will be out quickly, but it has arrived!!!

Part 1

Tag List: @prinxietyhell @prplzorua @mira-jadeamethyst @the-short-reader-girl @cosmic-melodies @theanxofthethomas @dan-yuna @skylions-den @thebaagelboy @goshdarndingdang @ec-sanderssides @thesarcasticweirdo127  Want on, or off the tag list? Let me know!

Pairings: none, eventual Poly/Lamp Sanders

Summary: Anxiety writes on himself in sharpies in order to cope with the problems he has. He’s been doing this for years, using colors to represent each of the others and writing fake notes from them all. What happens when the others notice?

Chapter Warnings: Angst (we’re slowly climbing out of the angst pit tho), Panic Attack, Self Hate. Anything need tagged? Please let me know!

You just had to freak out, didn’t you! Anxiety’s mind yelled at him. They were accepting you and you just break a bowl and leave! And over what? Some kind notes they wrote you? You really are an idiot. After retreating to his room Anxiety had collapsed into his bed and curled into a ball of self-loathing, just letting his angry thoughts wash over him. Occasionally, he would glance at his arms and read what was written there; this would only bring more tears.

I am glad we get to exist together. -Logan

From this moment on, I vow to protect you! I love having you around! ~Roman

We all love you kiddo <3 ~ Patton

I enjoy having you as my side. Thanks for protecting me. ~Thomas

Some part of Anxiety had already known they had seen his arms and subsequently seen the notes on them, but this just made it much more real. Each note was in the proper color for each of them. Logan in dark blue, Patton in light blue, Roman in red, and Thomas in purple. Patton had even added a <3 (he didn’t draw a heart, he actually made a “less than” symbol and a 3).

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. No no no nononono. “Kiddo? Do you wanna talk about it? No one’s upset about the bowl if that’s what this is about.” Frick! Of course, it was Pat.

When Anxiety didn’t respond (how could he with the way he was choking on tears and the air was getting hard to breathe) he thought Pat would just leave, but that wasn’t the case. “Anxiety, buddy. If you can hear me, but can’t talk can you bang on the wall once for me?”

That was something Anxiety could manage. He knocked on the wall loud enough he knew Pat could hear him. “Okay, buddy. Can I come in? One knock for yes, two for no,” Came the response from outside the door. Anxiety thought for a moment. Would he be okay letting Patton in? He knew from experience that things could definitely get worse from here, but could they also get better?

Slowly, he gave a single knock.

Morality gently closed the door behind him when he entered then slowly approached Anxiety, sitting at the foot of his bed. Patton gently laid his hand on Anxiety’s back, testing his limits without speaking. When he received no response he began rubbing soothing circles into the others back and speaking quiet words of comfort.

After what seemed like forever, Anxiety was able to begin calming down. His tears were slowing and he was able to catch his breath finally. When Morality noticed that he had calmed down some he calmly asked “Can you tell me what this was about, buddy?” While still rubbing the younger's back.

Anxiety took in a deep breath. “I-I-... W-why--?” He choked out.

“Why what, Anx? I wanna help, but I need to know what you need” Morality asked gently.

Anxiety pulls into himself a bit, before tugging up his sleeves and shoving his arms towards Morality. “Wh--why?” he asked.

Softly, Patton took Anxiety’s arms and ran a thumb over the ink. “We did it because we care about you Anx. We haven’t been the best to you in the past, but we’re going to change that. I'm sorry it took us so long to realize what we were doing."

Anxiety was crying again and threw himself into Morality, giving him a hug. Patton immediately hugged back and began rubbing his back again. "Maybe this would be something better discussed with the others. I know that's going to make you nervous Anx, but everyone needs to be able to give their input on this. We all wrote our own comments."

Anxiety sniffled and took a deep breath, trying to calm his shaking. "I-I can't. Everyone's gonna be upset. I messed up again. Even when I'm trying to do something right I just-- I can't. I messed up and I'm always gonna mess up. I don't blame you, or any of the others for pushing me away. I deserved it."

"No Anx you didn't. All of us want the chance to apologize and make it up to you. Do you think you can try to give that to us?" Patton asked, trying to make Anxiety understand. He may not be the wordsmith that Logan was, but he knew how to comfort people. It was kinda a part of his job.

Anxiety curled closer to Patton, wanting desperately for him to be telling the truth, for this not to be some big scheme for them to bring him up so they could tear him down farther than normal. He didn't think he could handle it if they did that. He probably wouldn't be able to carry on anymore like he has been doing. "I-- I'll go, but... But you have to promise me this isn't just a big joke. If it's a joke, just... just leave me here. Please. I know you all probably hate me, but I won't be able to handle this being a joke."

Morality’s heart broke a bit at that, they had hurt him so badly he thought their kindness was a joke, then said, "This isn't a joke, Anx. That would be cruel to do to you. We don't hate you and we really are sorry. I'm sorry we made you feel this way. I’m sorry we did this to you" He pulled back slightly so he could look Anxiety in the eye. "Thank you for giving us a chance. I know it's gonna take time, but I really want to make up for all the stuff we've said and done to hurt you."

Anxiety looked down, breaking eye-contact with Morality, and took a deep breath. "Let's just... Let's just go."

~*~*~

About an hour after Morality had gone after Anxiety, the other three were starting to get restless. The first thing to break the silence between the three was Logan and Roman's phones going off at the same time. They had each received the same message from Patton.

He panicked about the sharpie, be prepared to talk about it. We'll be back as soon as he has calmed down enough. ~Mo

"I thought he would be happy about the messages," Roman said after they had informed Thomas about the new information.

"I believe it was less that he was unhappy about them and more that he wasn't expecting them. Patton did say that he panicked about it, not that it upset him," Logan responded.

~*~*~

After another half hour, Patton appeared with Anxiety clinging to his side like a lifeline. The two of them almost looked cute together except for the fact Anxiety appeared terrified to be in front of the other Logan, Roman, and Thomas. Nobody dared speak until Morality had gotten himself and Anx settled into the couch. Even once they had, no one had any idea how to start it.

“I think,” Patton spoke up, “We should all start with apologizing. So, I really truly am sorry Anxiety. For everything.”

“I will go next,” Logan said adjusting how glasses, “ Anxiety, despite us making some strides towards friendship recently, I have treated you unfairly. Both recently and before. For this, I must apologize.”

Anxiety fidgeted, unsure if he was supposed to respond. Luckily, he was stopped from overthinking it by Roman, who cleared his throat. “Anxiety, the way I have treated you in the past has been undeniably, un-prince-like. I do not expect you to believe me when I say this, nor do I expect to be forgiven, but I truly am sorry for everything I have done to you. From now on I vow to protect you from harm, rather than being the one to inflict it.”

The darker facet was starting to get choked up. He was tired of crying already, but he couldn’t help it. Everything seemed unreal to him. The others apologizing to him? Why would they have any reason to feel sorry, he knew why they hated him? Did they- was there really a chance that they didn’t hate them?

Thomas was the next, and last of the four to speak. “I know I haven’t been the best to you Anxiety. I know you’re only doing your job and there is no reason for us to gang up on you for that. It’s not your fault. Thank you for keeping me safe. I’m sorry for always making you the bad guy. You aren’t and you really don’t deserve to be attacked for it.”

And that broke the dam. Tears slipped from Anxiety’s eyes and he curled into Patton’s side as he tried, and failed to hold them back. Patton instinctively wrapped an arm around Anx, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. Roman from his other side reached out and carefully placed a hand on the other sides leg, in an attempt to try to comfort him.

“Roman was absolutely correct Anxiety,” Logan said. “We do not expect to you to believe us, after all, there is no evidence to show what we have repented. We do plan to change though, and hopefully prove to you that we are being completely serious.”

“Even if Logan is the only one who wears a necktie,” Patton added jokingly. That earned a chuckle from everyone and even got a slight smile from Anx, even if no one could see it.

They all sat in silence for a bit, seemingly waiting for something until someone broke it again. Surprisingly this someone was Anxiety. “I-I’m s-sorry for cr-crying, I just... I’m st-ill so sur-surprised that this is hap-happening.”

“Kiddo, you don’t have to apologize for showing emotions. In fact, I’m proud of you that you are,” Morality said.

“I-I know it’s just,” Anxiety said, “F-for the long-est time the only th-thing ke-eping me g-oing was this,” he gestures to his own arms. “It-it was the on-only thing giving me h-hope, ev-even if i-it was artificial.”

“It doesn’t have to be artificial anymore Anx. You did good on your own for this long, but you don’t have to be alone anymore,” Roman said giving a light squeeze.

“As we have already shown, we are more than willing to take over writing your messages. If you would like that is,” Logan said.

“I-,” Anxiety started before taking a deep breath and looking to the others. “I would like that. More than I would care to say.

He was going to put his last shred of hope out there. The most he could wish for now, was that they didn’t crush it. Because living without hope makes you a shell. And is that really living?

[itsjulesharper]

So we have left Marchal with a knife in his chest… and of course, he pulls it out (noooo!) and yells for the guards. They take him to Claudine and she gets him on the table … business as usual, then. Will he live? “You are a very lucky man…. either your heart is not where it’s supposed to be, or you do not have one.” Marchal replies: “Let us hope it’s the former.” He tries to get up, she stops him, then he gasps to his guards to “find her”.

Stupid woman Madeleine is now running through the dark trees, and it is a very nice visual, with the two guards on horseback bearing down, Then they push her over into the ground and her time is most definitely up.

Next scene with a Bontemps/Louis walk-and-talk. Marchal is expected to make a full recovery and Louis is absolutely livid as he enters the dungeons/jail, delivers a stinging slap to Madeleine who is sat on a chair and looking dishevelled. “Do you really think-” Louis thunders out, “-that you could live in my palace and kill my minister and his wife without suffering the consequences?” (interesting Louis says ‘my palace’ and ‘my minister’ – his is king and everything is his. Is a nice touch). Madeleine is only concerned for her son: she does not want him punished. But Louis is angry: “Every day for the rest of his life, you son shall suffer the shame of knowing that his mother betrayed her king. Her country. And her family. ” Madeleine softly weeps as he goes on: “and as for you, you will be decapitated. In front of the entire court.” As he turns and strides out, Madeleine calls out ominously: “you are walking blindly towards an enemy you do not know. ” Louis pauses, slowly returns, and Madeleine is now looking a little possessed. “You have opened the door to him. And now he will destroy you.” Louis wants to know who it is, and Madeleine spit out: “have you any idea of the hell you have created here? Hundreds of nobles driven from their homes, forced to live in squalor, told how to behave, what to wear, what to eat!” She is wide-eyed and screeching now and Louis is all “give me a name” and they play the ‘come closer and I will tell you’ game, and when Louis is finally close enough, Madeleine hisses “Satan.”

CUE GLORIOUS INTRO MUSIC BY M83 – Outtro

Creeper Cassel

We are in church, for Sophie and Cassel’s wedding… an empty church except for two females. Poor, poor Sophie. Cassel kisses her on the cheek and she wants to make the best of it, putting on a brave face but we know what is to come. UGH.

The Chevalier enters Philippe’s rooms, rather tentatively and looking a bit worse for wear, as if he has actually been crying. Philippe gets dressed in front of a glorious mirror that I love and want and I squeed a bit as I noticed the porcelain in the background that could possibly have been this actual urn from the Orléans collection but enough of that because there is a scene happening and I HAVE ISSUES.

Philippe: She left at dawn. The Chevalier: (breezily) Oh dear. A disappointing wedding night. Philippe: Uneventful. The Chevalier: Good. (turns and surveys the table, takes a biscuit) I was worried you may have reached the early hours and decided some consummation was in order. Philippe: Look at the table (the chevalier does so, picks up a piece of paper) That is your clothes bill for the last month. The Chevalier: Yes, and…? Philippe: Fifteen pairs of new breeches. The Chevalier: (a bit huffy) How many times do I have to tell you, they are not clothes, they are costumes? They allow me to express my every mood and whim. Philippe: They also cost a fortune. The Chevalier: (curtly) Since when does that concern you? You’re one of the richest men in France and it’s never bothered you before. Philippe: (pauses) You are the apple of my eye but stop taking me for granted. MASSIVE KICKED PUPPY LOOK FROM THE CHEVALIER, SEEEEEE???

#Issue 1 and *historical note: Historical Chevalier was, in actual fact, in charge of Philippe’s household. Which meant he was the one doing the books. Philippe was the spendthrift, showering money on his mignons, buying clothes and jewels and dressing up in ‘costumes that expressed his every mood and whim’. I find it interesting* why the writers have completely role-reversed these two, with Philippe dark and brooding and concerned with money, and the Chevalier the light and fashion-conscious one, wanting his fancy clothing. Historically, he owned quite a bit, and gave a lot of it to his relatives – lands, abbeys, etc – and covered his niece’s dowry when she married. And the growth in these characters from Series 1 is a bit jarring, where we saw the Chevalier’s control over Philippe in Eps 1 – 3. Everything changed when Philippe returned from war.

*By ‘interesting’, I could mean annoying, frustrating, confusing and/or just plain wtf.

So now we see Liselotte walking with Sophie and it is lovely to see these two becoming friends. Sophie is so sweet and Liselotte so honest. They are good for each other. Liselotte says “in two words – total humiliation,” and we know she is talking about the non-smexytimes between her and Philippe during their bedding ceremony. “He showed no interest in me whatsoever. He said he found me unappealing to the eye, and he preferred men!” Sophie: “how awful for you. What will you do?” Liselotte replies: “A lot of horse riding.” Also…. “and I shall speak with him. I came here to bear children, not listen to my husband snoring like a schnauzer.” Sophie wishes she had her dilemma… “I hope my husband shows no interest in me. Whatsoever.”  They sail past Montespan’s little gossipy gathering, and Montespan cannot help but make a snide comment about her Highness’s frown and that she “passed a night of frustration rather than passion.” Tittering all around, as Scarron hurries over to tell Montespan to return to her rooms, that her daughter is unwell. The doctor has been summoned but Montespan still looks unimpressed: “what use will I be?” Scarron is taken aback – it is the king’s child. Montespan assures her that her ability to bear children is not what Louis loves about her, let alone look after them. Scarron pulls back and gives her a kind of ‘wat? but she is your child!’ kind of look, but Montespan just appears cool and haughty.

*historical note: We now fully see the face behind the mask that is Montespan. Her dislike of children, her single-mindedness focus on Louis, her subtle crushing of all in her way. The writers have been doing a great job of rounding out her character… but sadly, I feel they have ignored others. Scarron, for example. One of the things that drew Louis to her was her obvious respect and enjoyment of children. They bonded over that, and Scarron was allowed access to the king on the matters of his kids at all times. But we are not seeing at all how this bond is growing, how she is caring for the children and discussing them (because by now, there are ‘children’ – Montespan had two by the year 1670).  The timeline for all this is quite a bit screwed up for me, but obvs written to suit the fictional narrative.

Marchal is in the dungeons/prison and unlocks Gaston’s cell, telling him he’s free to go. Gaston limps after him, clearly not in a “I will sue! How dare you wrongfully imprison me!” mood. Yes, they found the murderer and the doors are flung open and two guards bring in Madeleine. “Mother!” Gaston gets out and for a second I was prepared for him to add “no, this is not right!” but then he says, “What have you done?” and I know he has totally got his mother’s measure. “I did it all for you, my love,” is her wide-eyed reply, but Gaston is disgusted. “You have destroyed our family. You have destroyed our reputation. You have DESTROYED ME!” And there we have it. Gaston, such a predictably self-centred creature. His mother wails as she is dragged away to a cell.

Louis is walking with Bomtemps into Montespan’s rooms. The child was showing signs of fever during the night and Claudine believes it is the pox. The baby cannot be removed from the palace as she is too weak, so Claudine will prepare a treatment for the pustules and something to lower the fever. All the windows must be closed. The palace must be fumigated. Versailles is build on swamp land and Claudine says “there is evidence that ailments such as this are transmitted through the ears and mouth.”

*historical note: nowadays we have vaccines for mostly everything. But in 17th century France, disease claimed an obscene number of lives, which is why everyone shagged like rabbits to pop out as many kids as possible. Fever, cuts, infection could develop into something more serious, for which there was no cure – syphilis, smallpox, tuberculosis, gastrointestinal problems, polio. The common cold could kill someone without immunity. Smallpox sadly wiped out much of Louis XIV’s children and grandchildren.

Montespan sweeps forward and claims that Louis is placing too much faith in “this doctor.” FFS, Claudine is standing RIGHT THERE. Louis, to his credit, comes back with, “this doctor saved my life and will save the life of our daughter.” He walks off with Bontemps and commands the palace be fumigated. It will become stifling and Louis commands Bontemps to tell Philippe he must go hunt with him.

Cue a montage of palace fumigating – fires being lit and smoke wafted through the rooms by scarf-covered servants. Smokey stairwells and nobles coughing their way through them and in salons.

You can’t sit with us.

Then we see Gaston all smartened up and limping into a salon, where Cassel cannot resist snarking: “My dear fellow, you seem lost. Is it the smoke?” Gaston, a shadow of his former self, says, “No. I’m- not lost.” Cassel goes in for the thrust: “Then if not lost, then not welcome. The door is behind you. And if you see your mother, do thank her for the gift.” As Gaston turns and shuffles off as dignified as possible, Cassel adds to his group: “Another reason to fumigate the palace,” and Gaston is f-u-r-i-o-u-s as everyone chortles and it is so VERY high school that it gives me horrible flashbacks. Gaston passes Thomas coming in and Cassel spots him, goes over to ask what he meant by his earlier comment re: his past. Thomas indicates he knows about Cassel’s plot against the king (in S1) and has enough evidence to send Cassel to the gallows. Some veiled threats follow, then Cassel finally asks what he wants, to which Thomas replies: “information…. the sort of information that only a minister to the king has access to.” He wants to know Louis’ plan of attack when he goes to war with Holland. What will Thomas do with this info? “Use it in my book, what else?” is the sarcastic reply. Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah.

He KISSED HER HAND!

Thomas then walks into the salon, kisses Sophie’s hand and everyone is all “OMGGG! Did he actually do that?” as he walks off. Cassel is furious but cannot think of what to do. Hilarious.

Bontemps goes to get Philippe, who is unimpressed with all the smoke. Her majesty’s daughter is sick. “And this is going to make her better?” Philippe asks. (I really enjoy every time Philippe opens his mouth – every word seems to be delivered with maximum dryness/sarcasm/haughtiness). Thomas lurks behind, Liselotte from the doorway. Philippe declines the hunting invite – he has an appointment with a poet. Liselotte steps into the hall – perhaps she might accompany his majesty? Whatever, Philippe is unconcerned, walking off with Thomas and stroking the man’s back in a friendly gesture. 😒

Sure enough, the next scene shows Louis and Liselotte descending stairs as she says things like “was his majesty aware that it is the female wild boar who rules the group?” and “the mating season lasts only a month and a half” (I guess it’s not mansplaining, as Louis is unaware of these things and he is actually enjoying it). #ThisIsNotMansplaining As they pass by, the nobles gasp and murmur “she has the king’s favour!” Louis oh-so-delicately segues into “talking of mating season….” and we know where this is going. But then Marchal appears, wanting to know how Louis wishes to proceed with interrogating a noblewoman. “Treat her how you would any other murderer,” is Louis’ short reply. Marchal looks stoic but I am not entirely convinced he doesn’t feel some faint distaste.

Now we are on the hunt and Liselotte looks glorious on her white horse and fetching habit, and I also WANT Louis’ gorgeous blue coat. She spots a boar, Louis says it would be “a trifle dangerous.” Pfffft Liselotte ain’t having none of that shit, and she is off. Louis swiftly follows. I love this interaction. *historical note:  Louis and Liselotte both had a love for the outdoors, riding and hunting and regularly shared that. Louis liked her candidness, which was free of the wiles and manipulations of court life.

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Back in the dungeon, with a beaten Madeleine strung up by a chain in the roof, sitting on a chair, and Marchal picks up a mallet, demanding to know where she acquired the poison. She shouts over the top of him that she wants to see her son. They both know she is condemned to die no matter what she says, and Marchal calmly says she has nothing to lose by telling him – her reply is equally calm. She has nothing to gain. If he lets her see her son, she will tell him what he wants to know.

I don’t care if you are trained and educated – I shag the king, therefore I know more than you.

And so to Montespan’s rooms, with Claudine and Scarron tending to the baby. Montespan only cares that if the baby lives, she will be blemished for life, earning her a bit of a look from both women. Of course, that means she will be put in a convent, and Claudine says, “you would deny your child a place at court because her skin is not perfect?” Well…. yes. Do they not know Montespan at all by now? “You do not know how the court works,” Montespan replies, as if explaining to an idiot. Oh, but Claudine does know: “beauty opens every door in the palace. Even the kings’.” Montespan walks over to her, gets in her face and asks slowly, “how would you know?” then goes to the window. The camera lingers on her face and she is quite emotional…. from the baby’s condition? From what Claudine has said? From the constant worry that the king’s head will be turned by another younger, prettier face? I think the latter two.

And now we have a scene where Philippe is teaching Thomas to dance and the Chevalier is creeping on them at the door, looking as sad and as worried as if he’d caught them in bed together. Then he steps in with a “oh” and Philippe says “I was just telling Thomas if he wants to dazzle the women at court, then he must learn how to dance.” And yeah, Thomas knows exactly what he is doing, being a spy and an agitator and all. “Well,” says the Chevalier. “I see I am surplus to your requirements.” and strolls through the antechamber.

Philippe: Where are you going? The Chevalier: (as he leaves) Elsewhere. Philippe: (sighs) Thomas: (innocently) did I upset your friend? Philippe: He’s just a little jealous. Thomas: Of me? Philippe: Of anyone that breathes.

So now the Chevalier stride into the salons and over to a gaming table, taking it out the only way he knows how. Five thousand on a card game. Oh, bother. He lost. Ten thousand now. Oh, dear. Lost again. “Please note that down. Ten thousand francs debited to the account of the duc d’Orléans.” The Chevalier smiles. “There is no greater pleasure than losing someone else’s money.”

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Let’s gamble….

with someone else’s money

Back with Liselotte and Louis, where Liselotte regales him with a hunting anecdote, to which Louis laughs and admits that she is “a breath of fresh air.” (OMG Louis you had sooo better not be flirting with her, I swear to God….) She smiles and replies, “Sire, my friends call me Liselotte.” But the nice moment is interrupted by the hounds, who have found something in a ditch and noooooooo we can tell by the ominous music that is it terrible. Louis rolls him over and JACQUES and I wanna hug Louis right now.

*weeps* I understand why they killed Jacques off: to slowly chip at Louis’ small circle of people he trusts. Rohan turned out to be a traitor. Henriette was poisoned. Now Jacques, to whom he went for honest, non-ass-kissing advice. To say that Louis is horrified, shocked, devastated is an understatement. And a huge turning point in his storyline. He is going to spiral downwards.

We are now back in Louis’ rooms, and he is on a chair looking melancholy, commanding a sole musician to play a moody cello piece again. Then we see Versailles and the changing of the guards, then Philippe face down in bed as the music still plays. Colbert wakes him, concerned. It’s the Chevalier de Lorraine. Is he hurt? Colbert: “Not exactly.” They walk into a deserted salon, where the Chevalier sleeps the sleep of a drunken man, face on a table. He has lost 400,000 francs and placed all of it on Philippe’s account. Philippe smiles tightly: Colbert does the same.

And now…. (deep breath, as I must get through this scene first)

Philippe’s doors fly open and the Chevalier stumbles through and slides across the floor, Philippe in a rage. Philippe: MY FUCKING MONEY! HOW DARE YOU! (points accusing finger) The Chevalier: (struggles up from the floor, says flippantly) Luck was against me. Philippe: It certainly is now. (slaps him) The Chevalier: (reels) You hit me. Philippe: Yes. And? The Chevalier: (headbutts Philippe) Philippe: (steps back, expression enraged as he clutches his cheek) The Chevalier: (suddenly gasps, realising what he’s just done, puts out his hands) I- I…. Philippe: (grabs the Chevalier by the throat and they slam into a wall) Four hundred thousand francs in two days! (wrestles him to the floor, hands still around his neck) That’s almost a third of my annual income! The Chevalier: (gasping and struggling) You’re hurting me! Philippe: Good! The Chevalier: (struggling still, chokes out) You’re killing me… Philippe: Even better!

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The Chevalier then puts up a hand to Philippe’s face to break his hold, more wrestling and gasping as Philippe gets him in a choke hold from behind, then the Chevalier bites Philippe’s arm and is free and hair and limbs are flying as the Chevalier grabs a candelabra and wields it, yelling “DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!”  They are both in a stalemate and panting, Philippe holding his bitten arm, the Chevalier brandishing the candelabra. Then Philippe stalks off and the Chevalier lowers his weapon, calls out a drunken, “HA! That’s right!” Then the unsheathing of a sword is heard and his expression drops as Philippe stalks back in with his rapier and holds it to the Chevalier’s face. Mucho panicking from the Chevalier…. and that is when the doors open and Liselotte sweeps in with a commanding, “STOP!” Philippe: This…. little shit gambled away half my fortune! The Chevalier: (distraught and practically crying, knocks away the sword with the candelabra) Is he good in bed, that little slut of yours? Did he get down on all fours like a sheep?? Philippe: YES! AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! The Chevalier: (rage face) LIAR! Liselotte: (calmly with hands on hips) will you two shut up? I’ve seen turkeys with more sense.

They both look at her, then each other, then with a massive LINE FACE Philippe lowers his sword. The Chevalier can’t resist a dig: “and just when I was winning,” thrusts the candelabra at Liselotte then storms out.

#Issue 2 – OMFGGGGGG. Okay, where do I start? First, what I liked. Just like in Series 1, we see the Chevalier start off so good in the first few eps, only to have him take a massive dive. I do not know if this is deliberate. I would be surprised if it wasn’t. But the downside to that is having your character appear wildly dramatic and not true to himself. He returned triumphant and adoring in Ep2. He and Philippe were a loving couple. The Chevalier seemed to have the upper hand emotionally, because Philippe admitted he missed him. But now, with drama being… well, dramatic, Philippe pays attention to another and the Chevalier goes into meltdown. And trust me, it will get worse.

Now to the historical comparison, which I simply cannot ignore even though I have said over and over I KNOW the show is not an historical account, it is a fictional dramatisation. And with this, it really is very much a soap opera. The scorned jealous lover, the screaming matches, the brandishing of weapons, the knock-down fight and slapping and biting…. All very theatrical. And not at all what the real Chevalier de Lorraine was about. He manipulated, he controlled. He played mind games and got what he wanted by being superior than everyone else. He was also a god-damn war hero, known for his bravery in battle. He was respected by his men. He had dignity and command and a ruthless air that scared the shit out of people who crossed him. And while I ADORE Evan and love watching him dominate and command every scene, I know this is not about him. It is about the writing. The writing that is turning the two men I love most in history into some kind of Kardashian drama in breeches. The real Chevalier would have extracted his revenge in some other calculating way, that would have had Philippe being the contrite one, making the first move and practically begging him to return.

*sigh* Okay. Moving on.

Louis is burying Jacques in solemn prayer, the coffin is lowered at a spot in the gardens and Louis peers into the grave, his expression blank, even though we know he is a little broken. Bontemps steps forward to stop him from falling in, and I am taken aback by his quietly offended, “get your hands off me.”

Bontemps and Marchal are now walking through the palace, discussing the suspects to Jacques’ death. Marchal is getting his Colombo-slash-Quincy on and is beginning to suspect Madeleine de Foix is not the only murderer. Apparently the palace death records have been showing a pattern – so far, over 40 have been premature or connected to a promotion or inheritance. Bontemps is stunned.

Now we are back in Louis’ chambers and he is being prepared for a shave. Lovely visuals here, with all the tools laid out and the blade being sharpened, close ups of Bontemps, then Louis, then Louis’ face being lathered up. In between this scene are cutscenes of another, with the nobles in confessional with Father Pascal, admitting to adultery, murder by poisoning….. and the blade gets closer to Louis’ throat, the barber’s hand shakes… Then Louis commands him to stop, throws everyone out. He is mucho stressed.

We are now with Father Pascal and the Queen, the latter of whom has become quite annoying and not at all like her historical self.. or indeed, like a queen. Sure, her historical counterpart was pious and no doubt secretly outraged at all the sinning going on around her, especially when her husband didn’t include her in that. But secret plotting to force everyone to be holier? Ugh. Sounds a lot like what goes on these days from certain countries. Father Pascal appears quite delighted the nobles are confessing all to him, and I am still not sure if he is a good guy or just one of those priests getting his jollies by living vicariously through all the confessing sinners. The queen is sceptical: “the palace will not be cleansed so easily. Confession is one thing – discovering the path of purity another.” The king is the key – if he choses to ‘remain in sin’ then most of the court will remain with him.

Pascale and Bossuet do a walk-and-talk in the gardens, with Pascal saying Louis must be told that the women are confessing to murder. Yet Bossuet says he fears Louis will not listen. WTF? Of course he will and I think Bossuet is full of shit. I don’t think Louis’s stubbornness will make him deaf to this information. Right, so Bossuet says he will speak to Louis… but Pascal doesn’t think that will work. Bossuet replies – a little unsure – “I will threaten him.” OKAY THEN. That’s totally gonna work. But hey, Pascal looks a bit evangelical and creepy and pleased so there is that.

Now they are in a golden room with Louis and Bontemps and there is a weird exchange that isn’t at all about the holy men telling Louis who has confessed to poisoning or murder, but more about how much of a sinner Louis is.

Louis: If they come to confession then at least they are pricked by conscience. Bossuet: Without the truth in the soul, it is mere hypocrisy. Louis: No. Hypocrisy is part of our being, we cannot tamper with nature. My people look to the church for spiritual guidance and well being. They look to me for security and happiness. I cannot make them good people. That is your job. Pascal: (butts in) Then his majesty will be refused communion at Easter. It is the king’s duty not to merely appear devout before his people but to BE devout.

Oh, dear. Louis slowly stands with restrained tension and Bossuet looks a bit nervous, his expression all ‘shit is about the hit the fan, noooo’ which increases as Louis turns to him and says softly: “you would carry through with such a threat?” Bossuet, put on the spot, looks at Pascal then vaguely nods and says “I would, sire.” Louis is cold and calm and that is dangerous: “You would question MY faith?” And then Pascal goes there, says his child is sick because of his union, unsanctified by God, and is surrounded by sickness. The palace may gleam on the outside but on the inside it is contaminated…… Louis walks to Bontemps, places a hand on his valet’s shoulder. “Remind me, who is this man?” Bontemps replies “father Pascal, confessor to her Majesty the queen.” And Louis walks slowly to Pascal, says, “and I wish…. NEVER TO SEE HIM AGAIN!” until he is shouting in the priest’s face and Pascal and Bossuet both bow and quickly exit. Go Louis. Getting his king on.

Now we are with the powder and herb dude (whom the credits tell me is called Big Fella), his attractive mignon partner and the Chevalier de Lorraine who is…. wait for it…. proposing to be a drug dealer for them, supplying the court with the powders and potions that are now banned. LOLWAT.

“I know every noble at court,” he says. “They have deep pockets and desires without limits. It is simply a question of getting the produce into the palace without being noticed.” He sniffs, like junkies snorting drugs are want to do, and tells the suppliers that he can get the drugs in via a delivery of silk, so the nobles purchase the material and also “something extra.” And he will take a 30% cut…. and as much produce as he requires.

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This place is disgusting, let me make it quick….

Iz gonna be your dealer, lulz

Let us recap. The Chevalier’s character to date has been a controlling, abusive, vain, elegant, haughty, unfaithful, jealous, contrite, seductive, manipulative, whiny, weak, traitorous and petty drunk. Who is now going to be drug dealing.

Just so I have that right.

#Issue 3. The Chevalier de Lorraine as a drug dealer. Get me out of here.

Oh, look. Thank Christ Louis is now talking war stuff. Something light and non-stressful to wrap my brain around. The English fleet will be in sight of the Dutch shores within a month (a-ha! Finally, a mention of time so I can orient myself!) and he wants his army on that border within two weeks. Louvois talks, telling Louis his commander Turenne has split the army and is ready to strike Holland’s allies. Condé (his other commander) will cross the Rhine within a week. And Liselotte’s father has reaffirmed his support of Louis. Cassel speaks up, and I don’t know whether it is just to shit-stir or out of genuine concern because he asks how loyal Palatine is. Louis reminds him the man’s daughter is married to Philippe. Cassel claps back with ‘well, you’re married to Spain and yeah, you’re at war with THEM, aren’t you?’ Louis’ ‘UGH, FFS you’re right but… UGH’ face is classic.

Now we are outside, on horses with Louis, Cassel and Louvois and they are checking out Philippe training with his soldiers, showing off charging and other war-related manoeuvres, plus a new invention called the bayonet. Philippe trots over on his horse, looking rather happy, and Louis, ugh, Louis can’t even muster a smile. “I thought you’d be pleased to see me,” says Philippe. To which Louis says, definitely-un-pleased, “I am.” *SIGH* Seriously, no wonder Philippe is always stomping about in a mood. Louis cannot even be happy that his brother is training HIS troops for HIS war and HIS glory. All he can say is ‘yeah, enough of war talk, what’s the sitch with impregnating your wife?’ Philippe, to his credit, doesn’t miss a beat: “My cannon succeeded in…. breeching the enemy’s defence. If that’s what you’re asking. Now, then, back to my point about strategy…” But Louis has what he came for, gives his brother a look, turns his horse and gallops off. Philippe just rolls his eyes and returns to his soldiers. Interesting that when he is out of earshot, Louis tells Louvois to order four times the amount of platoons with bayonets. Then Bontemps is seen galloping towards them (on a horse, otherwise that would be hilarious…. maybe they should do that. *pictures a galloping Bontemps* :D ) and Louis must come at once.

Louis is storming through Montespan’s rooms. They have to be patient and Louis enters the sick room, despite Montespan’s horror and fear of going into unclean air. Scarron and Claudine are attending the baby, with the fever greater now. Montespan says she should be bled, but Claudine says it will only weaken her. Good girl. It would shit me no end to have some rich noble mansplain my own job, one I’d spent years researching and working on. But Montespan won’t have it. She says her family doctor can be there before nightfall. Ugh. Montespan really hates anyone opposing her, doesn’t she? Louis takes Claudine aside and says firmly, “You cannot let this child die,” then leaves. Poor Claudine. How can you promise something like that? As he strides through a corridor, all angry and frustrated, the queen appears, sticks a finger in his face and hisses, “If you banish Father Pascal from court, you banish me. He stays at court or I return to Spain.” Then she sweeps off and Louis is left shocked, seething and clenching a fist, rage in every muscle as he angrily thumps the wall.

Okay, #Issue 4. The queen is being given way too much importance with everything. She has taken on the role of ‘pious savour of the court’ and this is so not what she was, historically speaking. She did not get involved in politics or demanded everyone become more God-fearing. Never would she have spoken like that to the king of France. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is done so Scarron can be put into a more favourable light. We all know from history that the queen dies, and that Scarron was the God-fearing pious one who eventually encourages Louis to put away his party boy ways.

Now we are back with William of Orange and he is having his portrait painted and talking of war. They will not lose, Amsterdam will not fall. De Witt (the dude who leads the government of Holland, not a king but a stadtholder, as the country is a republic) will be the one to fall and William will not stop the people from getting rid of the man who has been like a father to him. But his advisor says their intel from France indicates Louis has an army and is marching to war. Then De Witt walks in and is not impressed with William’s nonchalant response about war and a possible coup etc. He has William’s number, gets in his face and reminds the younger man that Holland is not a monarchy, and “you are not Louis. Do not try to be like him.” Ouch. Burn.

We’re back in a salon, where Louis is having his portrait painted, surrounded by nobles. Thomas reads some of his writings and suggests they include this enemy of which Louis has spoken. Louis educates him (and the audience) on the politics of Holland, then asks why he asks so many questions. Thomas briefly misses a beat: “man is defined by his foes, is he not, Sire?” Then we see him lurking through the dark corridors and handing over another message to a runner. But a soldier is passing by and he has to think quickly and hide before he is spotted.

Back in jail with Marchal, who brings Gaston to see his mother. She does not look well (as would no one, given her predicament). She grasps Gaston’s hand, saying she thinks about him as child, that it gets her through, and he appears to go to his knees to her. “he is a cruel man,” she hisses, indicating Marchal. “Your father died fighting in his service. And now he’s made of me a criminal and of you, an outcast.” Then Marchal stirs, paying more attention to their conversation as she frantically whispers to Gaston and touches his face, “you have to find her… she will help you… she is in the square.” Marchal opens the gate, says “That is enough,” and Madeleine pets Gaston again and he is dragged from the cell, giving her a final look and a solemn “farewell, Mother,” before he leaves. Then… eww, a bit gross as she removes a cloth-covered vial from an orifice and drinks it.

If I was your girlfriend, I’d never let you go….

We are back in the palace. The baby has died and Scarron is on her knees before the crib, praying. Montespan is at the window, looking gloomy. “I’m sorry,” Claudine says. Louis: “You promised.” No, she didn’t.  You can see all the thoughts running through Louis’ head, what the implications of the child’s death means, what he is feeling. Then he glances back to Claudine and says calmly, “you no longer work in the service of the king. I shall ensure you receive a royal stipend.” And Claudine…. she looks so sad and kind of pityingly, like she knows he has to blame someone and it must be her, but she is not God and as skilled as she is, she does not possess special powers to save this life. Her gaze drops and she quietly replies, “his majesty is generous,” packs up her kit , makes an awkward bow then leaves. Montespan tries to show sympathy, saying he did the right thing. Louis replies: “Did I? How do you know? Did our daughter die through the fault of the doctor? Through its own weakness? Or was it simply God’s will?” And for a second I think Montespan is gonna say something to ease his pain. Instead she says softly, “what does it matter, Sire? I will soon make you another one.” And he gives her such a ‘wtf woman?” look, then glances down to Scarron, who is still on her knees and praying and they exchange a look. Scarron’s face is kind of…. almost as if she is worshipful. Like she’s singing a typical angsty teenage song in her head that goes along the lines of “she is no good for you. If you were mine…..” It is a little odd, considering they have not had any screen time together that would indicate any kind of mutual interest or growing feelings. Liselotte and Louis have shared more conversation and smiles than Louis and Scarron. Louis silently walks out.

Now to the queen’s bedchamber where she reads in bed. Louis walks in and sits, and the queen is sorry for his loss. “Do you believe in divine punishment?” Louis asks. Yes, says the queen. But she also believes in divine forgiveness. He thanks her, and then she bids him a goodnight, saying his mistress will be waiting for him. “No,” he says calmly. “It is you I need tonight.” So… feeling guilt and the need to be closer to God = queen smexytimes.

*historical note. Despite Louis and his copious amount of sinning, he was a model of piety leading up to Easter, and chose not to visit his mistress/es during that time.

Ugh. You are all sinners.

We see a lovely night shot of Versailles and the Apollo fountain then Louis walks into a salon with the queen, everyone bows and is solemn, and Louis launches into one of those monologues he enjoys so much. “When you look at yourselves, what do you see? Beauty? Wit? Refinement? Intelligence? You are the cream of the French aristocracy and the envy of every court in Europe. Yet when I look at you, I see corruption. Darkness. Temptation. Greed. Murder.” He walks the room, delivering this speech, and we see the camera go to the queen and Pascal, to Philippe, Liselotte and the Chevalier. Louis turns and speaks more, as a figure covered in a black veil enters the salon. “There are two paths open to you. The path of punishment. Or the path of redemption. Redemption through light-” he smiles at the queen and walks towards her, takes her hand. “Through good. Through puri-” he pauses, spots the widow figure, and the veil slides back and we see Montespan in her theatrical glory, wearing a crucifix and looking outwardly repentant with tears in her eyes. Louis is stunned, and the queen angrily rips her hand from his and storms off (*historical note: NO. The real Marie-Thérèse would never have done this. If she could suffer her duty in silent dignity, when Louis forced her to share a carriage with his two mistresses, when everyone pointed and said ‘there go the three queens of France!’ then she could most certainly live through THIS.)

We are with Marchal and entering Claudine’s home, where she is drunk and asleep by the fire. He takes the bottle from her hands and picks her up. “Am I under arrest.” she mumbles. “I am putting you to bed,” is his reply and I haz the heart eyes for this sweet moment for them when she sighs softly, eyes still closed, and murmurs, “how can those hands, which have killed so many times, be so gentle?” He says nothing, just tucks her in and I got a little melty because FINALLY Marchal is getting to have a woman who matches him in intellect and strength and integrity. (Oh, don’t you dare get happy. ~ Future Self)

Now we are in Sophie’s bedchamber, she in a nightgown and looking so nervous and Cassel calls “are you ready?” AND NO I AM NOT because Sophie is so sweet and the writers are going all Game of Thrones, making the characters we love suffer the most awful things. Needless to say, Cassel slithers in, fully dressed, and creepily says “I could eat you up,” then ties her hands and there is a struggle and of course, he thinks it’s awesome and arousing and she knees him in the groin, he slaps her, throws her on the bed and rapes her. This is horrid but unsurprising because, you know, 17th century France. The next moment, we see Sophie’s feet, bloody and filthy, shuffling into Liselotte’s rooms and her nightdress is torn and she is bleeding and looking so lost and tiny and crying and so am I. She deserves SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. First her horrible mother, then the builder dumped her, then Montespan introduced her to this creep, THEN this shit. Not to mention she is getting closer to Thomas which can only end in tragedy…. UGGGGH. Liselotte embraces her, comforts her but dammit I NEED A HUG TOO.

Next scene. Louis alone in a salon with the horse portrait, brooding in an armchair by the fire. Philippe enters. Philippe: Do you know what day it is today? (glances at an uninterested Louis) ’tis the anniversary of the day you took over as king. Do you remember what you said to me that night? Louis: (looking ‘meh’) Remind me. Philippe: You said, the secret is not just to be king. It is to be SEEN to be king. And that, my dear brother, is what you have forgotten. (walks slowly behind the chair as Louis appears to think) You have taken off your clothes and shown us your frailty. (places his hands on Louis’ shoulders) I suggest you put them back on. Louis: (long pause as he stands, carefully weighing the words) Thank you.

A brilliant scene, short and straight to the point, showing us a wealth of hidden depth in the brothers’ relationship. It tells us Philippe indeed has Louis’ back (was Philippe standing behind Louis’ chair a reference to Season 1’s “do you have my back?”) and is not afraid of speaking his mind, to give Louis a metaphorical kick in the breeches.

Next day, and Father Pascal slowly enters Montespan’s rooms to offer his condolences, pausing at the dead baby’s crib. He is startled by Montespan at the window and she goes off on a bit of a rant: “You think you can destroy the bond between the king and me, but we are stronger than any of your sermons.” He gently replies that she is a sinner, driven by the desires of the flesh, but Montespan is all ‘yeah, and so is everyone else and btw I see the way you go all heart eyes for the queen.’ Nup, the queen only shares his faith but Montespan will not be hearing that shit: “Your devotion is just a mask. Behind it, you are just like any other man.” And then she strides over and grabs his crotch, getting in his face and adding, “I wonder how the queen would react if I told her you placed a hand on me.” Pascal is keeping quite a straight face when Montespan says the queen is stupid and the king would believe her. “For now,” Pascal says quietly. “You continue to seduce him with your wit and wiles but the day will come when he sees you for who you really are. An empty husk of vanity and manipulation.” Montespan is quite a bit irritated with that assessment (the truth hurts, eh?) and storms off.

We follow Gaston into the village and into Agathe’s house. He hesitantly takes her hand when she offers it, and she says he came here for her help, to avenge his mother’s death. He says his mother’s not dead, tries to pull away, but she holds him fast and we see a shot of Madeleine dead and bleeding in her cell. Agathe: (forcefully) Yes. She is. (Gaston is silent, shocked, possibly a little creeped out) You want my help taking revenge on the man that killed her and ruined your life. (whispers) You want to destroy Versailles? (does no one see it was HIS MOTHER who ruined his life by poisoning Reynard??? Ugh. Idiots always blame someone else for their mistakes) Gaston: That’s not possible. Agathe: Everything is possible if you want it enough. Gaston: Why would you help me? Agathe: Because I want the same thing. Gaston: What do I have to do? Agathe: First of all convince the king to let you return to court. You will stop at nothing – bribery, corruption, murder, extortion. The king floods the palace with light. You will engulf it in darkness. Do you agree?

Gaston looks creepily happy and Agathe leans in for a slow brief kiss, then whispers,”Now. You belong to me.”

The scene fades. End of episode. Merci for reading!

Versailles Series 2 – Episode 4 – the one where Claudine gets canned So we have left Marchal with a knife in his chest... and of course, he pulls it out (noooo!) and yells for the guards.

[katierosefun]

alright babes, it’s that time of the month again! 

unwarranted and unasked for things that i’ve been watching/reading/listening to in the past month that aren’t 100% star wars related, but for the sake of............[gestures vaguely] idk bro it’s my blog i’m mentally sitting on my bed and giving everyone at the sleepover a ted talk okay? okay. let’s do this. also.....long post, i was watching/reading/listening to a lot of stuff this month as a reward for....post-finals and also pre-lsat stress:

kdrama: hymn of death

god look at they

so, this was a kdrama available on netflix! it’s split into 3 episodes, each ep. an hour long, so i finished it in two days. this kdrama follows the story of a singer and a writer living in 1920s korea, back when japan still occupied the country. apparently, this kdrama is based on the real story of yun sim-deok and kim u-jin, whose tragic love story is still really popular in korea today. essentially, their love story is an affair--kim u-jin is married when he meets yun sim-deok, and they fall in love and write letters to one another in secret. things escalate, and unable to bear their lives trying to separate them, they decide to jump off a boat together, essentially killing themselves. 

it’s a tragic story, and i honestly expected this to make my heart hurt--and it did. i’ll admit that i kind of wish there was more to the story--a lot of this kdrama is told in flash forwards and etc., and while i really did love the dialogue and the aesthetics and the acting (oh man, the acting), i really wish we had more narrative-wise to go on. despite that though, the actors really brought this story to life, and once again: just like...everything is beautiful in this kdrama. so if you’re looking for a korean drama to take your mind off things but don’t want to commit yourself to a 16-21 episode ride, this one is probably for you!

(also,,,so much poetry you guys. my heart.)

school 2013 

“caroline your crush on lee jong suk is jumping out again” yeah yeah yeah i KNOW, so what i’ve been watching this moron’s entire filmography leave me aloneeee...but anyways, this kdrama is honestly?? pretty good? i’ll admit that i def. felt like i was going through a time machine because you can so tell that this was filmed in the early 2010′s just because of the camera angles and just...a bit of a rougher cut, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a really wonderful story with super well-developed and interesting characters.

i’ve talked ad nauseum about this kdrama here on tumblr, and more of my thoughts can be found on my general kdrama rec post, but like...guys. it’s so good. i’m obsessed with all the characters, and this kdrama, while older, is so powerful. there’s so many heartwarming moments, not to mention the relationships between all of the students/the relationships between the teachers and the students/the relationships between the teachers (oh god......rivals to co-workers to co-parents of a class to lovers PLEASE)........it’s all just very beautiful. i think i just really appreciate how this kdrama hits ALL THE NOTES--from discussing how important it is to have a dream to demonstrating how the school system makes the lives of their at-risk students so much harder to like.......all the struggles that teenagers face because of school....bro. :’)) 

anyways, i really, really, really loved this kdrama. the whole cast was absolutely perfect, the soundtrack is perfect, the relationships are perfect. i recommend that everyone watch this kdrama at least once. get through the first 2 episodes--i promise things just pick up so much faster after those first two episodes, and suddenly you’ll be watching episode after episode just because you care about these kids. 

babyfaced beauty

so, like i said—choi daniel and jang na ra’s wonderful chemistry in school 2013 compelled me to watch babyfaced beauty right after. like school 2013, this kdrama is a little bit on the older side—i think it aired in 2011, so that explains some of the bizarre camera angles and some older tropes that i’m not particularly the biggest fan of. basically, this kdrama follows a 34 year old woman who has to fake her age to get a job in the fashion industry. because of some mix-up at a club, her life is now intertwined with one of her new co-workers, a brash young man who’s 7 years younger. so their romance kinda starts off how a lot of older kdramas’ romance start out—with some behavior that,,,frankly, i didn’t like. because of that, i think it took some time for me to actually like this drama—at around episode 3 though, i think i found myself caring enough about at least a handful of the characters, which was what kept me going. i loved the theme about deciding to persist and follow your dream, no matter your age.

however, even though i was a little turned off by some of the behavior at the start of the drama, i was pleasantly surprised by like...the character development? so when the romance officially started, i warmed up to it super fast, and i don’t think it’s just because i think choi daniel and jang na ra have good chemistry. choi daniel’s character definitely is brash and a bit clumsy with his words, but he grows and like...is a lot more gentlemanly than i gave him credit for at first? and also, he just...i think he’s very genuine, and his absolute adoration for jang nara’s character makes me :’)) and jang na ra’s character, whom i was scared going to be too much of a wide-eyed airhead, turned out to have a lot of strength and like...a good moral compass and a steady head on her shoulders. i genuinely rooted for her the whole drama through, and i rooted for her relationship with choi daniel’s character. 

so like...overall? i binge-watched this kdrama in the span of like...a week just because as soon as it gets going, it gets going. i honestly liked this kdrama a lot more than i thought i would, and i’m glad that i watched it, because it was honestly very bright and made me :’))

jugglers 

they’re so fucking cute i could cry also yes my crush on choi daniel is SHOWINGGGG

okay....so i swear i was watching while you were sleeping while also watching this....i didn’t actually watch three kdramas starring choi daniel in a row....i s-s-swear..........

but simply put: i loved this kdrama. literally one of the cutest and softest kdramas i’ve ever watched, and i’ve watched quite a few. it took everything in me to not re-watch it literally right after watching the final episode, and once again: that is saying a lot. this kdrama basically follows the story of a secretary being assigned to a man who’s notorious for not taking secretaries. 

not gonna lie, i kinda felt odd about watching a kdrama that included a love story between a boss and his secretary, and i of course would feel a little wary of it irl, but i think this kdrama shifts the playing ground between them so it feels a little less weird. also, it’s just impossible to not love them, just because...they’re really lovely? they’re so soft, and the cast is excellent, and the actors did a wonderful job in bringing out the genuine affection and respect between the two. :’)) 

but more than that though, this story is just about what happens when two people learn to trust each other. you have this story about people loving each other despite their own sad pasts and hardships. and it’s just. the softest. there’s other things that’s excellent about this kdrama too--and there’s even a storyline that i felt was a nod to choi daniel’s drama babyfaced beauty, and there’s another storyline about just...other young women who are involved in an office that often mistreats women. so i just. there’s a lot of good things about this kdrama, and i 1000/10 recommend this, especially if you just want a super soft love story featuring people who are so ridiculously in love that you feel like you’re third-wheeling constantly--

movie: the call 

bro this movie messed me up

based off the 2011 film the caller, the call (2020, dir. lee chung-kyeon) is about this young woman (park shin hye) who receives a series of troubling calls from a different woman who lives in the same house...but twenty years ago. this movie is def. a psychological thriller / horror film, and there’s blood, tragedy, and also...a super negative depiction of people with borderline personality disorder, which made me ://///

there’s some really beautiful scenes in this movie--there’s this one scene that absolutely broke my heart, and idk by the end i felt like i just appreciated my family a lot more, so there’s that. i also...weirdly felt for the antagonist of the film (played by jeon jong seo), although like...again, i really hated that having borderline personality disorder was like...one of the reasons / parts that contributed to her being...a flat-out killer. like. idk. i’m very tired of these tropes. 

that said though, i did enjoy the time-travel-esque element to the horror film, and the subplot was nice. park shin hye, who plays the protagonist, also really brought her a-game to this film, and she’s always been a fave actress of mine, but like...bro, i can honestly say as someone who’s seen a lot of her work, i think this is one of her best acting jobs ever. i also just...really love any horror film that’s super character-focused rather than horror-focused, and i think this was definitely one of those movies that made sure you were thinking a lot more about the characters and their pasts instead of like...the literal killing part (which, of course, def. occupies a lot of the movie, but in a different way from most, you know?). 

so like,,,idk. i watched this movie, i have some issues with it, i liked it, and it freaked me out. i think fans of psychological thrillers / horror might enjoy this, but like...again, be warned for some icky rep. on the borderline personality disorder side of things. :///

loving vincent

this movie was actually a lot shorter than i thought it would be, but that doesn’t make it any less powerful. in just the span of an hour and a half, this movie goes into how a young man delivers vincent van gogh’s final letter to his beloved brother theo. in the process, our protagonist learns of vincent’s last days. 

this movie is just...beautiful. you can tell the people who made this movie really love vincent van gogh, and that’s one of the best things about this film. each frame is painted too, which...just artistically wise? is nuts. the art blew me away, and again: you can just tell how much people really, really, really loved art and vincent van gogh and everything van gogh loved and stood for. 

i can’t really go that much more into the movie except my heart just hurt a lot thinking about this artist who didn’t know what else to do except just. paint. and at least he was living his own truth. i’m so. agh. the music is also beautiful (the final song playing during the credits makes me :’))) anyways, i fully recommend watching this movie for anyone who loves van gogh / art / wants to get into a creative field but feels kinda lost. because this movie. this movie makes you. feel things. 

podcast: greenhouse

this podcast is super cute. made by the same person who made the bright sessions, greenhouse is all about a writer recluse named rose who, in a bizarre final request from her late father, must write letters to a florist named abby. 

guys. after spotify recced me me & au, i’m genuinely starting to think that my mind is being fed into some computer algorithm, because first of all, writer character named rose, also lovely literature/movie references, also this is very gay. this podcast definitely leans into the trope of “seemingly suave but also kind of sarcastic protagonist falls in love with a literal ray of sunshine”, and i’m honestly here for it. each episode is pretty short (maybe 4-6 minutes long total!), and i’ll admit i kind of wish that there was a little more buildup between the two characters, but that could just be me. overall though, i really enjoyed the podcast, and like...there are cinnamon buns and emma and beloved references, and for a baking lit nerd like me, that’s...basically my kryptonite. also, the final episode made me smile really hard. also, the piano music for the intro and outros are very pretty, definitely a mimic of period dramas, i think. so. give this a listen if you too are a romantic lit nerd.

documentary: suicide forest in japan

 so...in an impulse decision, i decided to watch this 20-minute documentary after coming across this post. the aokigahara forest is infamous for the amount of people who have committed suicide there, usually by hanging or sleeping pills. sometimes people will just live in the forest for a day or two because they’re still deciding whether they want to die. 

this documentary was...quietly beautiful and also quietly sad. we follow geologist azusa hayano, who gives a brief history of this forest and also the things that happen here. first of all, he seems like a lovely man, and he sympathizes a lot with the people who have come here. he guides us through the whole of the forest: from the cars still parked outside that have never been restarted since their owners left, to the walking paths, to the part of the forest that’s corded off as a warning. we see bits and pieces of the things that people have left behind: a woman’s mirror, some notes, etc. it’s all very sad, but something i truly enjoyed about this documentary was just. mr. hayano’s commentary on the lives of those who stumble in here. how we need to take care of each other. how we should be able to co-exist and the like. 

there’s some more stuff that happens in this documentary, but i think i’m just glad to see something that was respectful and just. honest about the aokigahara forest. unfortunately, lots of horror movies have been made about this forest, not to mention that whole logan paul incident in 2017. i think mr. hayano said it best himself--about how like...there’s nothing scary about someone committing suicide / seeing a suicide corpse. it can’t attack you. it’s just sad. 

anyways, i’m glad i saw this documentary. it’s pretty short as far as documentaries go, and it’s very quiet, and idk. i think everyone kind of deserves to hear a mr. hayano say something about how we’re not all alone.

music:��

i can’t get through this rec list without mentioning olivia rodrigo’s debut album sour. i’ve been obsessed with everything she’s put out so far, but this album like...just blew me away. i’m so amazed by olivia’s powerful vocals and her wonderful song lyrics. i rambled on a bit about this album here, but i think my favorite tracks are traitor and good 4 u and hope ur ok and brutal and drivers license--honestly, they’re all very good, and i think something i just...appreciate how olivia rodrigo is able to so beautifully put words to all the difficult feelings that come with teenage angst. and, like?? i mean this in the best way possible, because like,,,olivia’s very self-aware, and there are plenty of lyrics in this whole album that nods to yeah, i know that i’m kind of being selfish / kind of petty / people probably think i’m overemotional and sensitive, but HERE ARE MY FEELINGS, DAMMIT, SO YOU BETTER LISTEN, and honestly? i’m here for it. i honestly think olivia’s going to go big and that she’s going to become a real big phenomenon, just because her lyrics are so powerful and also relatable, not to mention she has an absolutely stunning voice, and she’s only?? 18 years old?? bro. anyways, i absolutely loved this album, and i def. recommend that everyone gives it at least a listen. my only warning is that the whiplash from “YEAAAAAH I’M ANGRY AND I’M GONNA BURN SOMETHING DOWN” to “oh my god i’m so sad i’m going to lie down on the floor and cry quietly at 2 am” feelings are REAL.

i’ve also totally, absolutely caved and decided to listen to lizzy mcalpine’s album give me a minute. so, like...i’m a stubborn gal who for some reason built this wall around lizzy mcalpine just because spotify kept recommending her music to me, so i guess because of that i decided to be like “well, now i’m not gonna listen”, but then i listened to pancakes for dinner, promptly fell in love, and i’ve been mildly obsessed with her album. each song hits so hard and has so many beautiful lyrics, not to mention lizzy’s voice is just...very nice to listen to. highly recommend, because it just...good feelings, esp. if your heart’s kind of raw and you just. need music to help you put the words to your feelings.

some more music, because just...a lot of beautiful music came out this month for some reason, but:

funeral by maisie peters, feat. james bay. i’m really in love with maisie peters’ music, but i had this on repeat as soon as it came out. maisie peters has a wonderful streak for having songs about being a little uneasy about love, and this one is just def. a favorite in that genre. also, maisie and james’ voices are so lovely together. also “i want you to roll in your grave like you’re not dead / i want you to call off the whole damn funeral”...

astronomy by conan gray. this is a slower song of his, and as always, i’m absolutely taken away by his voice and his lyrics. there’s this one line about how distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder but apparently not for us and yeah i might have lost my mind a bit.

[dorothydelgadillo]

"But I Don't Have Time to Write" with Chris Duprey (Content Lab, Ep. 13)

After, "But I'm not really a good writer," a close second in terms of my least favorite content creation excuses is, "But I just don't have enough time, sorry."

So, if you've ever uttered that phrase yourself when someone from your marketing team has asked you to create content -- or you're someone who manages the content strategy in some capacity for your organization, and you've heard that from other people -- consider this episode mandatory listening.

To unpack this meaty, two-part topic, I invited Chris Duprey, our COO, to join me on this week's episode.

Why?

Because he's a busy guy. A very busy guy, in fact. Yet, he still manages to be a prolific content creator for IMPACT.

On top of that, his position means he has deep insights on how to us marketers and content nerds can better manage conversations -- either upward to executive leadership or laterally to peers -- where someone is struggling with content creation.

Again, if you have never listened to the Content Lab before, make this the one you start with. 

Enjoy! 

Listen to the Episode

Resources & Articles

Everybody Writes by Ann Handley

They Ask, You Answer by Marcus Sheridan

Being Nice at Work (& as a Leader) Doesn't Hold You Back

Chris' talk at IMPACT Live on Inbound Leadership

One Thing: It's a Choice

I don’t want to get too down in the weeds on a “one thing” for this week — the one thing you can start doing right now to make your content better. So, here’s the deal — your one thing is that making content a priority is a choice. Whether you’re the person charged with creating or contributing, or the one ultimately responsible for ensuring your strategy is executed successfully. I mentioned it in passing during my chat, but Seth Godin really nailed it during his interview on HubSpot’s The Growth Show when he said:

"If you can make a decision once, then the question isn’t should I do it? It’s what will I do? If you make the decision once to be a vegan, then you don't need to have a discussion with yourself every single night about whether or not to have a hamburger.

If you make the decision to blog every single day, then the only discussion I have to have with myself is what’s the best blog post I can write -- not should I write a post. As (Saturday Night LiveProducer) Lorne Michaels has said, 'Saturday Night Live doesn’t go on because it’s ready. It goes on because it’s 11:30.'”

It really is that simple, guys and gals. If you or your organization has made the choice to rally behind inbound and be the best educators you can be in your space through content, there is no other discussion to have. The best part is that accepting this fact is so incredibly liberating. Instead of spending all of your waking hours at the office mentally wringing your hands in anguish around whether or not the content will get done, you’ll get to focus on big ideas, telling valuable stories, and sharing your voice with the world in new compelling ways. Creating content is never going to be easy, but just because something is a challenge doesn’t mean it isn’t really fun or immensely rewarding.

Weekly Awesome: 750words.com

Alright, this week’s weekly awesome is a tool some of you may have heard me talk about back in the day when I was co-hosting IMPACT’s Creator’s Block podcast. It’s a website called 750words.com. It’s based on a concept called Morning Pages from the Artist’s Way — here’s what the founder of 750words has to say:

"I've long been inspired by an idea I first learned about in The Artist's Way called morning pages. Morning pages are three pages of writing done every day, typically encouraged to be in "long hand", typically done in the morning, that can be about anything and everything that comes into your head. It's about getting it all out of your head, and is not supposed to be edited or censored in any way.

The idea is that if you can get in the habit of writing three pages a day, that it will help clear your mind and get the ideas flowing for the rest of the day. Unlike many of the other exercises in that book, I found that this one actually worked and was really really useful."

It’s an online, private way of practicing morning pages, but here is where I found its real power.

I’ve been using 750words now for close to a year. In that time, I realized something. Yes, this practice is wonderfully freeing, in that it helps me mentally clear the cobwebs lingering in between my tiny gray cells. But committing myself to just stream of consciousness writing of 750 words per day (which usually takes me about 15 to 20 minutes, and I typically use it more like a diary), showed me that practicing writing is like practicing a sport. It makes the act of sitting down to write for the first time, with only a blank screen staring back at me much less scary. While I still succumb to writer’s block like everyone else, I’m less likely to second guess myself or get stalled. My daily practice has instilled this “write your way out of it mentality” where I feel as if I’ve been exercising my writing muscles to the point where each day it’s easier to sit down and write for work or pleasure. Again, it’s not for everyone, but I have found it has radically transformed how I handle the challenge of writing itself. Practice does make it much easier to get going, when a project calls. Also, another neat thing about the platform is that it will instantly analyze your writing when finished and give you data about how you were feeling and your headspace when you were typing.

Check it out:

As a note, the first month is free, and then it’s $5 every month thereafter.

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from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/content-lab-podcast-making-time-to-write-chris-duprey